social anxiety

SINGAPORE: A Reddit user shared his experience of being anti-social. He described his experience as ‘social anxiety’. Fellow Redditors responded to his plea for help.

u/rich_throwaway5566 posted in r/askSingapore: “In pri/sec school I find myself hanging out alone in class and during recess, because mixing around with people scares me. It literally makes my heartbeat goes fast.” The user then admitted that he was still not fond of spending time with other people and asked for suggestions on how to get over this.

“I work with really nice colleagues who always invite me for lunch, for after work activities and so on, but after a few times of getting rejected by me, I guess they stopped asking me. It’s my fault that this happened, but I do feel left out and jealous whenever I see my other colleagues hanging out and laughing around and having fun. But if I try to join in(not like I tried with a lot of effort, i think the anxiety still gets to me), I will just be quietly in the group, not knowing what to say and if I was asked questions, I think my response is usually pretty turn off and conversation dies pretty quickly,” he added.

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Many people offered him advice. 

One Reddit user mentioned: “Just a few words here. It’s alright to be this way and don’t have to force yourself to be otherwise. Most importantly, be sincere. If you are comfortable, share your feelings with the 1 or 2 colleagues you feel safe with. People are much nicer when they know your genuine struggle.” 

Another user remarked: “Hugs. May want to go to see a therapist or psychologist. You probably correctly realise you have social anxiety. You can read more book and see if you can follow a simple program.” 

One more user said: “I think social skills is just like any other skill – it takes practice. You won’t get better at something if you don’t do it. If you want to be less anti-social, there are no shortcuts – you’ll just have to step up and get out of your comfort zone by going out and being around people.”

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