Photo: Depositphotos/ leungchopan (for illustration purposes only)
Singaporean woman finds out mum and sister talked behind her back, asks if she should distance herself
SINGAPORE: After learning that her own mum and sister had backstabbed her, a 29-year-old woman took to social media to ask Singaporeans whether it would be “wrong to distance herself from them”.
Sharing her story on the r/askSingapore subreddit on Monday (April 7), the woman explained that she accidentally made the discovery while staying over at her in-laws’ house one weekend.
She said “she was checking their home CCTV” at some point during her stay to keep an eye on her cats when she stumbled upon a clip of her mum and sister talking about her cousin’s pregnancy — someone she had already distanced herself from due to being constantly disrespected.
“I saw my mum and sister in the living room, talking about cousin A’s pregnancy. At first, it was just them expressing happiness for her. But then they started badmouthing me, saying I’ve been petty for not showing up to events, that I ‘need to bury the hatchet,’ and that if I found out about cousin A’s pregnancy, I’d ‘race to compete’ with them,” she said.
“That part stung the most because I’m not even thinking of having a child anytime soon. Then my mum started ranting to my sister about how I run a lot (I run regularly for my mental and physical health) and claimed that it’s going to stop me from getting pregnant. Like…seriously?”
The woman further shared that her mum had also discussed with her sister how much money she gave during the festive celebration.
“She [my mum] openly said ‘oh she gave $350 each to dad and me.” And my sister said ‘I also give but you don’t talk about it.’ And my mum casually said ‘She doesn’t give me or dad money all the time.’ WHEN I GIVE HER $800 allowance every damn month.”
The woman admitted: “I’m furious. Hearing the people I’m supposed to trust the most talk behind my back, make up narratives about me, and reduce my choices and lifestyle to gossip…it really broke something inside me.”
She mentioned that she hasn’t spoken to them properly since she got back home because she’s “still so angry and disappointed”.
Wanting to know if her reactions were valid, she asked the community: “Would I be wrong to just… stop sharing my life with them? To not involve them in major life updates like pregnancies until I am at least four to five months in (if I ever get to that point)?”
“If the relationship does not serve you, you are not obliged to maintain it.”
An overwhelming number of Singaporean Redditors rushed to the comments section to let the woman know that her feelings are valid. Some even supported her plan to distance herself from her “toxic” mum and sister.
“Do everything in your power to protect your peace,” one Redditor said. “You are an adult. Decide how you want to be treated and communicate that accordingly. If the relationship does not serve you, you are not obliged to maintain it.”
“My family is also like that, I just stopped sharing. The more I share, the more gossip I hear about me. So I stopped altogether,” another shared.
Regarding the allowance issue, many advised the woman to either confront her mum about it, reduce the amount, or consider stopping it altogether.
“If she’s going to tell lies and act like you give nothing, then give nothing. She’ll say the same thing but you’ll at least have $800 more a month for yourself,” one wrote.
Still, there were a few who said that the woman should just let the matter go.
“People talk behind others’ backs all the time. You’re not used to hearing it because you were never meant to hear it. But please get over it.
“For the most part, I think your mum and sister don’t have animosity towards you. To be fair, they didn’t actually say anything too serious,” one explained.
In other news, a domestic helper took to social media on March 30 to share that her employer is overworking her and refusing to let her transfer to another household.
Posting anonymously in the ‘MDW in Singapore’ Facebook group, she vented her frustration, saying she was “so fed up with her life” because of the exhausting hours she worked every single day.
Read more: Maid says her employer is overworking her and refusing to let her transfer to another household
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
