SINGAPORE: In a world where personal beliefs and family dynamics often intersect, one Reddit user finds himself in a challenging situation. He asked: “What to do if my gf’s mother is super religious?”
In this Reddit post, the netizen shared, “So my gf’s family isn’t very well off, lately there’s been a lot of problems such as family and financial issues. The more dire things get, the more my gf’s mom wants to leave things to God. My gf did not want to follow Christianity and is suffering from mental issues such as PTSD. At first her mom was ok with just waiting after I convinced her that if my gf needs god, she will pursue it without needing to be convinced.”
He went on to explain: “But recently with things getting worse, my gf’s mom seems to want to have God solve everything. She started telling my gf how she doesn’t need therapy and medicine as long as she starts going to church again and pray and whether my gf needs help, she’s somehow being religion into the scenario.”
Recognizing the potential compromise, he shared his concern saying, “I know that if this continues, my gf relationship with her mom would be very strained, I’ve tried telling her mom how her daughter needs help from her and not from God but she seems to basically having given up, just saying she doesn’t want to talk about it and leave it to God. I don’t want my gf to hate her mom but it feels like I can’t talk reason with her mom.”
One user asked, “How old is your gf? Can’t she get treatment without her mum’s consent?” and added, “I don’t think most Christians / religion advocates that faith means only praying and not taking the necessary medication. God helps those who help themselves.”
Another shared some comforting words, saying, “Don’t worry, she’s still getting treatment, I’m just worried that her mom won’t change and things get worse.”
Yet another advised about standing your ground as an adult: “As I said, this is her problem, not yours. When I made decisions my parents were unhappy about, I stood my ground because there was nothing wrong with what I was doing, and they shouldn’t be meddling with my private affairs as an adult.”
To which the netizen who posted the topic answered: “for me I love her enough that I want to share these burdens, I don’t agree that since this is relating to her family, I should just close my eyes when I see her clearly struggling and not sure what to do. It might be the easy way out but it’s not the right way.”
One netizen suggested trying to understand the girlfriend’s mother’s perspective: “if she has a specific church, try talking to the pastor or volunteers that she needs actual help.”
Another advised to break up: “Want the real answer? Break up”
One more chimed in and said, “I find commenters who offer a convenient “just break up” advice irresponsible. As if one hasn’t already have that option. The reason they ask for help is because they want to overcome the problem. They are asking for solutions.”
“Is breaking up really the answer?” an online user asked while adding, “I’d like to think having a partner is because you share a reasonablly significant amount of the same world view… That means having someone in your camp and supporting you and serving as a sounding board and hopefully validation for your thoughts and decisions.”
Having conversations about these issues can be a step toward resolution and understanding. When it comes to relationships, compassion bridges divides.