In a recent Reddit post, a 30-year-old male who claimed to be single by choice, focusing on solo travel, exploring the world, and living life at his own pace, admits to being curious and asking how challenging it becomes to find a partner in Singapore once one hits the 30s. He’s also wondering if it gets more difficult as one approaches 35 or beyond.
Is it challenging to find a partner after 35 in Singapore?
Demographic landscape — more singles, fewer marriages
According to a 2021 report from the Straits Times, the proportion of singles has increased across all age groups over the past decade, with the most significant rise observed among Singaporeans aged 25 to 34. For men in the 25 to 29 age group, the proportion of singles grew from 74.6% to 81.6%, while for women, it increased from 54% to 69%. This trend continues in older age groups as well. The growing number of singles over 35 years old speaks to the increasingly common phenomenon of delayed marriage, or in some cases, the decision not to marry at all.
Population in Brief 2024 reported that in 2023, there were 24,355 citizen marriages, a 1.7% decrease from the record high of 24,767 in 2022.
The rising number of single Singaporeans can be attributed to various factors, such as an increasingly globalized society where people are prioritizing careers, education, and personal development over traditional milestones like marriage. The Singapore government has also acknowledged this trend, launching various initiatives to help individuals meet partners through platforms like Love, Bonito (an initiative aimed at assisting people to form meaningful relationships) and encouraging social programs.
Socioeconomic pressures — career first, partner later
The relentless focus on academic achievement and career progression in Singapore often delays personal milestones. Many people in their 30s are still deeply entrenched in their careers and financial planning. The intense work culture, typified by long hours and a high cost of living, can make it challenging to prioritize relationships, let alone dating.
This pressure is especially evident in a city known for its competitive job market. Individuals pursuing their ambitions may sacrifice romantic opportunities in favour of professional success. While this career-oriented mindset provides financial security, it can lead to a situation where dating and relationships take a backseat.
Moreover, societal expectations and pressure to reach certain milestones — like buying a house, paying off loans, or achieving a high-ranking job — can create a sense of urgency that’s difficult to balance with a romantic relationship. As a result, many people end up putting off the search for a partner until their 30s or beyond.
The dating scene — Changing attitudes and platforms
For those aged 35 and beyond, the dating scene can feel challenging. The pool of available partners shrinks; for many, the dating pool can feel somewhat dated or unwelcoming. According to an article published by Channel News Asia, Singaporeans would prefer to stay single because Singapore’s dating culture is “exhausting and bleak” and tends to revolve around more traditional values, which might not always resonate with individuals looking for something less conventional or more progressive.
However, the rise of online dating apps and platforms has made meeting people outside traditional circles more possible. Apps like Tinder, OkCupid, Coffee Meets Bagel, and even Paktor (Singapore-based) have provided a convenient avenue for individuals in their 30s and 40s to meet potential partners. These platforms are designed to connect people quickly, reducing the time and effort required to meet someone in real life. However, the experience can be hit or miss, often depending on one’s willingness to navigate the online dating world’s complexities.
Moreover, some people may find themselves more selective as they grow older. After years of personal growth and understanding what they need in a relationship, they might become more discerning, leading to a smaller pool of potential partners. For others, the prospect of navigating relationships with people who may have children, previous marriages, or complex life histories might feel intimidating.
Cultural expectations — Family and social pressure
In a traditionally family-oriented society like Singapore, the pressure to marry and settle down can be palpable, particularly after age 35. This cultural pressure can be felt not only by immediate family members but also by friends, colleagues, and society at large. Social gatherings often bring questions about why one is still single, which can lead to feelings of inadequacy or frustration.
Singapore’s Confucian values emphasize the importance of familial ties, and many Singaporeans feel obligated to fulfil these expectations. There’s also a prevailing idea that being in a relationship or married is an important marker of success, which can lead to social anxiety for those who have yet to find a partner. Unfortunately, this pressure can make it harder for people to make authentic connections, as they may feel compelled to settle for someone out of fear of remaining single.
Is the situation really that hard?
While finding a partner after 35 in Singapore presents challenges, it is not impossible. The notion that it is “too late” to find love or a life partner is often rooted in societal expectations and traditional relationship timelines. With changing dynamics and increased societal acceptance of delayed marriage, more and more Singaporeans are embracing the idea that it is okay to find love later in life.
There are numerous success stories of individuals in their 30s and 40s finding lasting partnerships. For instance, Match.com, one of the world’s largest dating platforms, recently reported that over 20% of its users were aged 35 or older. Many of these individuals were able to build meaningful relationships after a few false starts, reflecting a broader shift toward understanding that love is not bound by age.
Additionally, many local initiatives, such as the Social and Family Development Ministry’s support for singles and their dating preferences, are making it easier for people to meet like-minded individuals later in life. There’s a growing acceptance that everyone’s journey to finding love is different, and there’s no universal timeline for this.
The challenges aren’t insurmountable
While it may seem challenging, finding a partner after 35 in Singapore is not insurmountable. With changing societal attitudes, a shift in personal priorities, and the rise of digital dating platforms, individuals are more empowered than ever to seek companionship at any age. It requires patience, understanding, and sometimes even a change in mindset.
Rather than viewing age 35 as a deadline, the conversation must shift towards embracing diverse timelines for relationships and understanding that love can come at any stage of life. Ultimately, it’s about being open to new opportunities, continuing to grow as an individual, and choosing to put effort into meaningful connections.
With these factors in mind, it’s entirely possible to find love in Singapore, even after 35.
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)