My husband would rather pay than do household chores

SINGAPORE: A 30-year-old woman took to an online forum on Monday (March 31) to vent about her partner, who allegedly offered to pay his way out of doing household chores. Although the post has since been taken down by a group moderator as it was posted on a non-relationship subreddit, many of the responses can still be seen in the comments section of the post.

A handful of online users championed the cause of spending a bit extra for appliances that can automate chores like washing dishes, cleaning floors, or doing laundry. Many even shared their personal experiences.

Online user shares insight

One woman shared that she too, like the writer’s husband, grew up in a household where her mother handled all household chores. “I only used a washing machine for the first time when I moved out in my late 20s. I didn’t know how to operate one before,” she said. She also said that her husband, on the contrary, grew up in a single-parent home and was raised to see household chores and cleanliness as a personal duty.

“I started buying a vacuum robot to get out of vacuuming on my assigned days,” she added. “I also have it with a mop function, so we don’t have to sweep and mop anymore. We also have a dishwasher… and now he says he cannot live without one. Then I also hired a cleaner who comes in every two weeks to deep clean the house. I had never seen my sink shine like a diamond before so we decided to leave the cleaning to the professionals.”

The woman shared that this setup eliminated resentment over who was doing more cleaning and helped to limit quarrels over house chores. “We don’t have to spend one to two hours cleaning; instead, we use that time to bring our kid out to the playground. To me, time is the most valuable commodity, so why spend it doing something that I hate doing if I can afford to pay for it?”

Relationships and household chores

According to VeryWell Mind, when one partner is dissatisfied with the division of household responsibilities, it can place significant strain on the relationship. In fact, research indicates that unequal distribution of housework is one of the most common relationship stressors.

However, managing the household together is part of marriage. To prevent this issue from negatively impacting the relationship, couples are encouraged to set household priorities together and play to each other’s strengths and preferences. For example, while one partner may dislike washing dishes, the other might find it relaxing.

Establishing a clear schedule can also help. As you create a system, be open to evaluating and making adjustments where necessary. And if neither partner enjoys household chores, hiring professional cleaning help is always an option.

See also: Husband says his wife of 10 years is an emotional toddler

Featured image by Freepik/tirachardz (for illustration purposes only)