SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to ask whether it would be weird for her to give her boyfriend an allowance of S$250/month.
The woman, keen to contribute to their expenses, devised this idea—so instead of always deciding who should pay for the meal in a day, she should just give him the money.
“I mean, to be fair, when we go kopitiam or hawker, I am always the one choping seats and he will get food. So he always ends up paying most of the time. Then, on some rare occasion, when we go to a restaurant, only then can I offer to pay one shot, but it’s still off-balance.
Not to mention all the transport fees (getgo and grab), which most of the time are his too,” the woman shared on r/askSingapore on Monday (March 11).
However, her mother disagreed, saying she should let him cover all expenses. Interestingly, her boyfriend’s mother shared the same sentiment.
Additionally, the woman mentioned that she is still pursuing a full-time master’s degree and has limited savings; hence, she could only afford to allocate S$250 per month.
“Idk if it is a generation gap or what, but we are both average income families, so it doesn’t make sense to me why I should make him pay everything. Like, please, it’s SG, one person’s effort (unless you’re single) is not enough to sustain a family unless you’re rich la.”
“Think of it as paying him back for covering your share”
Many Redditors from Singapore criticized the woman for referring to it as an “allowance,” expressing concern that it could imply her boyfriend wasn’t earning and relied solely on her financially.
They argued that her post was misleading and suggested a more accurate term would be “sharing of expenses.”
Regarding her question, most of them believed it was “not weird” for her to share expenses with her boyfriend.
One individual commented, “Don’t call it allowance. That’s just weird. Think of it as paying him back for covering your share. Usually people take turns, or split the bill. But this works too.
Your mom and his mom are saying that so that you feel more indebted to him, and probably won’t say no if he does propose next time. Your mom wants you to rely on him more. His mom wants him to learn and get used to covering for you.”
Another added, “Actually, that’s awfully sweet! If you have chanced upon many posts out there, many guys would love to have this kind of love partner.
You guys shouldn’t care about what others think and do whatever is comfortable for both of you.”
Others recommended that, if they’re uncomfortable with this approach, they could also try opening a joint account solely dedicated to their expenses, using bill-splitting apps like ‘split wise,’ going Dutch or taking turns paying for the bill.
A few Redditors, meanwhile, said that they disagreed and thought it would be strange for her to try to share the expenses.
One individual said, “He should pay for everything. A girl shouldn’t pay for anything if she is out with a guy.”
Sharing Expenses
According to Money for Life, there are three ways for couples to share expenses: dividing the costs 50/50, dividing the costs proportionately based on income, and opening a joint account.
Dividing costs equally. In this method, each would have to chip in 50/50 for the bills while keeping all the other expenses, like transportation, personal spending, and debts, separate.
It’s a common approach to solving the “sharing the financial burden” problem. However, experts argue that this is unfair if their monthly incomes are not the same, in which case the person who earns less ends up with less savings.
Dividing costs proportionately. In this method, the bills are divided proportionately based on each person’s income, meaning that the partner who earned more would have to shell out more for the bills.
For instance, if the couple’s annual income is S$100,000, and the man earns S$60,000 while the woman earns S$40,000, the man would pay 60% of the bill, and the woman would pay 40%.
However, they still keep transportation, debts, and personal spending separate.
Opening a joint account. In this method, the couple merges their monthly income and deposits it in a joint account. This means the couple would have to discuss everything together, including bills, debts, spending, and savings.