A non-Singaporean woman took to social media to ask about “the social norms Singaporean guys have,” because her boyfriend seems to expect a 50-50 partnership between them. She wrote that he also wants “his wife to continue work after pregnancy because he think women will become shallow and obsolete if they don’t.” The woman then went on to write that she is “just confused that is my bf the norm or not.”
“He say in Singapore, 80% of the relationship goes on dutch and 15% is guys pay all and 5% others. It is true? I wasnt from Singapore and he was the first Singaporean bf I have. From my understanding, guy do pay for dates. But when in relationship, is it normally dutch? One meal alternatively? He wants equal (financial) contribution to our relationship,” when they go out.
In a May 29 post on the NUS Whispers Facebook page, the woman wrote that while her boyfriend paid for their first date, he “hint to split 50 50 and want me to take parts of my share” in the ones that followed. “We had a fight over this and he gave in,” she added.
Furthermore, after her boyfriend told her that she is expected to work after giving birth, she asked if this is a common belief among Singaporeans. “I don’t intend to be a housewife but taking out the option is another thing,” she wrote, but later on added, “I know each relationship is unique and we are all dealing with different things.”
It seems, however, that in other aspects, their relationship is a positive one. “My bf still treated me very well and love me a lot. He did pay for most of the date and I pay for some dates. He pay for the food, I pay for the drinks.”
Netizens commenting on her post told her that her boyfriend’s attitude is normal not just for Singapore but in many Western countries, and urged her to become a financially independent woman.
“Welcome to dating reality,” wrote one.
Another commenter, who is also dating a Singaporean, wrote, “I mean, letting a guy shoulders all financial burdens is so outdated alr. Cmon, it’s 2022.”
However, other commenters told her that if she doesn’t feel comfortable in the relationship, it’s better to cut out.
But one netizen wrote that if marriage is 50-50, it’s better to be single.
/TISG