SINGAPORE — A woman took to social media advising other women not to get married and just date boys “as a fun hobby”.
In her post to popular confessions page SGWhispers which drew almost 300 comments, the woman wrote that marriage is “a scam that’s so normalized that nobody even realizes it’s a scam”. She added that she was not a bitter old woman, but a moderately successful professional married to another “(seemingly) successful white collar professional” who was very miserable.
Adding that her life would have been much better had she remained single, she wrote: “Marriage is basically paying half for everything like a housemate (nowadays the boys all want to split everything 50:50), and yet you’ll be doing all the household chores and taking on all the unpaid labor, and whole day you’ll be busy cleaning up after somebody’s dustyass son”.
And it was not just her who felt this way, she explained, saying that all of her married female friends regret getting married too.
“The women have been stepping up and most of us are in the workforce working full time now and financially contributing to the household; as compared to our parents generation. But men? Can’t even fry an egg to save his own life. Yet every expense wanna split 50:50. Hard pass”, she wrote.
She added that for those already engaged, it was not too late to call the wedding off as it was “better to lose money than your time”.
Her last words of advice were hard-hitting: “If you’re dating, just date him for fun. Date him to satisfy your own needs and for companionship, but focus on your own career and yourself. Don’t need to get too serious. Treat him as a fun hobby. Nothing more. No need to legally bind yourself to one person”.
In a seemingly didactic post, a man advised women to “wake up from ur princess and tai tai dream and pay for 50% of expenses” when it comes to relationships or marriage.
The term “Tai Tai” generally refers to the privileged wife of a wealthy man. The Tai Tai is usually unemployed (she really has no reason to work) and spends her days leisurely with lots of time and money on her hands.
In his anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that dating someone “is like testing whether he or she is suitable for you. Firstly there must be some sort of liking, gradually love, while you observe the characteristics, background of the partner”.
Marriage, however, “is like an agreement signing ceremony, negotiation is carried out during a relationship while dating. During which, both must discuss their goals, spending habits living habits, what they wanna be after marriage and how much they earn (impt), their family relatives and so on”, he wrote.
Focusing mainly on the topic of finances, the man added that the couple must compromise and come to an agreement on how to divide their finances and split wedding expenses. He also wrote that ideally, they should earn about the same amount to avoid one person paying more.