In a seemingly didactic post, a man advised women to “wake up from ur princess and tai tai dream and pay for 50% of expenses” when it comes to relationships or marriage.
The term “Tai Tai” generally refers to the privileged wife of a wealthy man. The Tai Tai is usually unemployed (she really has no reason to work) and spends her days leisurely with lots of time and money on her hands.
In his anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that dating someone “is like testing whether he or she is suitable for you. Firstly there must be some sort of liking, gradually love, while you observe the characteristics, background of the partner”.
Marriage however, “is like an agreement signing ceremony, negotiation is carried out during a relationship while dating. During which, both must discuss their goals, spending habits living habits, what they wanna be after marriage and how much they earn (impt), their family relatives and so on”, he wrote.
Focusing mainly on the topic of finances, the man added that the couple must compromise and come to an agreement on how to divide their finances, and split wedding expenses. He also wrote that ideally, they should earn about the same amount to avoid one person paying more.
“Be realistic, love is practical. Girls, pls wake up from ur princess and tai tai dream and pay for 50% of expenses. Given that current society girls earn more, Chinese tradition of girls losing out when wedding thru angbao and all those should be abolished, if not the marriage rate will continue to decline”, he added. He wrote that while rising costs were the main factor for declining marriage rates, with the woman working and contributing, men would be more likely to agree to marriage.
Advising other men not to go after ‘tai tais’, he said: “If not, girls, no meter (sic) how u pressure for marriage, the guy wun (sic) move cos you are not worthy though he love you. You haven’t proven urself(sic) to be for the family. Those tai tai deserve not to get married, single forever.
Netizens who commented on the post chided the man for his lofty ideals and said that he was overthinking things.
Here’s what they said:
Earlier this year, a 27-year-old man who thought he had gamed the HDB BTO system took to social media looking for a girl to “marry on paper”.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers titled “HDB bTO investment plan”, the 27-year-old man wrote: “just want to ask is it possible to find a girl to marry on paper in order to buy a bto, then each of us pay 50% of the bto, with no intimate r/s involved, basically me or the girl can bring any guy/girl home”.
In a paragraph-long sentence, the man outlined that because the newlyweds would then not be in a real relationship, they would each be free to date others and bring them back home. According to his plan, they would then be able to buy a Build-To-Order (BTO) flat. Once the HDB’s Minimum Occupation Period (MOP) was over, he then wrote that they would sell the flat, split the proceeds equally and file for divorce.
“Would this be legal? Would it be realistic to be able to find a girl who be willing to hop into this ‘investment’ plan as well?” the man asked.
He added that he had come up with this plan as he could not stand living with his family and wanted to move out as soon as possible. However, he was below the minimum age required to purchase a BTO flat on his own.
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