SINGAPORE: A man who’s been out of work for a year took to Reddit to share that his wife threatened to divorce him after his job application was rejected once again.
In his post on the r/askSingapore forum on Thursday (Jan 2), the man mentioned that in addition to the divorce threat, his wife also suggested that they change their children’s surnames to hers and told him that he would be better off gone, with his ‘insurance money going to the children, rather than consuming resources that could be better used for them.’
“I am facing judgements and comments from her friends and mine who are securely employed. It’s not I am a deadbeat. I am handling all childcare and housework…all the while paying for utilities and groceries still,” he said.
He clarified in his post that after he got retrenched at the beginning of 2024, he did everything he could to turn things around.
He submitted a total of 263 job applications, attended more than 10 interviews, and even pursued a master’s degree, thinking it might help his chances at getting a job at a government agency.
However, despite all this hard work and dedication, he’s still facing rejection at every turn.
“I applied for low level executive assistant and research assistant roles but they got instantly rejected, seems like there’s some age bias for these roles. I am starting to think life ends at 40+ when you have no job,” he said.
“What am I doing wrong? I have engaged government job placement agency (AKG, e2i, NTUC) etc. and all they gave me was to apply for roles for warehouse assistant when I had healthcare and biotech operations, startup and MNC experiences alongside a masters in business and honors for biomedical engineering from local uni.”
The man said that he didn’t actually mind going for a warehouse assistant job, but the problem was that it demanded him to work 12 hours a day, which his wife objected to.
“I can’t escape childcare since my wife said I must makeup for our pay difference by doing all domestic chores. 12 hours per day won’t cut it, and she refuses to let me work jobs that are paying lesser than half of her pay,” he wrote.
He also added that if he were to take a job overseas or one that was too far to manage daily childcare and house care, his wife would divorce him and hire a maid to take over the responsibilities.
“The reason she opposed hiring one now is because to her, it will appear that I am freeloading off her,” he continued.
After a year of rejections and facing constant judgment from both his wife and others, the man expressed that he now felt ‘weak and helpless.’
“It’s like the whole world is like a vulture, still wanting to remove me from the picture of the living…what should I do?” he asked the community.
“Wife is a huge red flag.”
Many users agreed in the comments section that his wife’s actions were making his already tough situation worse.
One user said, “Wife is a huge red flag.” Another commented, “She basically sees him as a domestic helper. Even better, he’s a helper who can’t just walk away because kids are in the picture.”
A third remarked, “The threatening of divorce, not ‘allowed’ to take any jobs lower than her pay, needed to pay for groceries and utilities and everything, childcare… does this woman think his money fall from the sky or what.”
Others chimed in with practical advice, suggesting that he consider taking on temporary or freelance work in the meantime.
One user said, “Your wife is toxic af. Absolute worse case, become a Grab driver while applying for other jobs. You must absolutely have some kind of networking in your entirety of your working life.
“Reach out and ask for help. You are not the first person I’ve heard being jobless at 40.”
A few others also speculated that his lack of job offers might be due to being overqualified for the roles.
One user recommended, “You should drop your Masters from your CV and not state your age. Many companies will think you are over-qualified, especially if management have less qualifications and experience than you – assuming you are not applying for a very senior role.
“They may think you will try and manage them or tell them what to do. Employers just want someone who will get the job done, give great ideas but not rock the boat.”
In other news, a woman took to Reddit to ask if she was in the wrong for not wanting to live with her single mum in Singapore.
In the r/askSingapore subreddit, she shared her dilemma, explaining that after returning to Singapore for the holiday season, her relatives started hinting that she should move back permanently to care for her ageing mum, who is now in her 60s.
Read more: Am I a bad daughter for not wanting to live with my 60 y/o single mum who nitpicks everything I do?
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)