SINGAPORE — When one local Singaporean having a difficult relationship with his father asked, “Is it culturally acceptable for me to return the (angbao) money back to him?” many netizens offered helpful answers.

The Reddit user appealed for help on Monday (Jan 23), the day after Chinese New Year, on r/askSingapore: “Sorry if this is an odd question, ill cut to the chase. My dad paynow’d me angbao money for CNY. For reasons that i will not get into, I do not like my dad. I resent him for the things he’s done and i don’t want his money.

Is it culturally acceptable for me to return the money back to him? I’m quite ‘superstitious’ myself but im not very culturally connected to my chinese roots so i don’t know much besides things like not cleaning the house during cny days and don’t open angbao money until after cny days,” wrote useracc98.

He edited his post to add that his father “is part of the reason why im in therapy now” since his question “seems to be hitting some people’s nerves.”

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“Im genuinely glad some of yall have a happy family, but to assume im some ungrateful spoilt child, lets not go there :D,” he added.

One Reddit user answered, “If you don’t wish to keep the money, pass the sum to your mum or whoever lives with him and ask them to buy ingredients and cook him a good meal.”

Several netizens suggested that he donate the angbao from his dad.

“Just donate it to charity if you’re not comfortable to use the cash,” wrote one.

Other Reddit users said he should use it for his therapy.

“Just keep the money for your therapy since he is the one who is causing it. Fr not joking… Anyways, hope things get better with your father.”

Another wrote, “For me, I withdraw the amount so it isn’t symbolically sitting in my account (hate the feeling too). Then I take the cash he gives me to pay for therapy since he’s the whole reason why I have to spend an unnecessary bomb on therapy in the first place. It’s like, you messed my life up enough, at least I’m not going to further suffer financially from your bs. Hope this helps, I’m sorry you had to experience a crap father too.”

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Other Redditors in the same situation had valuable insights for the post owner.


Woman asks ‘need to give angbao to spouse meh?’ and says ‘even market rate of how much to give is $288 to $688’