SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman shared on social media that her boyfriend of six years, who earns an impressive annual income of S$2,000,000, expects them to split all expenses equally.
On Tuesday (Jan 21), the woman posted anonymously on the NUSWhispers Facebook page. She explained that although her boyfriend is sweet, loyal, intelligent, and a gentleman who always tries to defend her or buy her favourite chocolate—a man she describes as “one in a trillion”—she’s often left wondering whether he truly loves her. He always insists they split expenses equally.
While a 50/50 arrangement might seem fair in theory, she said it is entirely unrealistic in their situation, given the vast difference in their incomes.
“I’m earning a modest salary of S$36k – S$48k, while he’s raking in at least S$2M; he’s 12 years older than me. You’d think that would make things easier for us, but instead, it’s become a point of contention,” she explained.
“Not sure if this is a cultural difference because he’s from the UK while I’m a born and bred Singaporean girl.”
The woman said her boyfriend would deliberately choose high-end dining options such as Hai Di Lao, where meals cost between S$40 and S$100 per person.
“I’m more of a budget-friendly eater who would pay for his meals when I invite him to Shi Li Fang or a similar range of restaurants, perhaps once a month. But he hates it and would complain. And he also orders way more than me, with alcohol for himself. I don’t drink,” she wrote.
Although she has tried offering him more budget-friendly alternatives to ease the strain on her wallet, her boyfriend has refused. He told her that he despises them because they are “for poor people” and that the food at those places is “inedible.”
“I just can’t afford to keep up with his lifestyle. And yet, he seems to think that I should be earning more, in the range of S$10k -S $15k by now, that I should be able to afford the luxuries he’s become accustomed to and can go 50-50,” she said.
Moreover, she mentioned that it often feels like she’s doing all the heavy lifting in the relationship, constantly travelling across the island to his Orchard condo. At the same time, he hardly ever makes an effort to visit her, even though he has a car.
“He claims there’s nothing to do or eat where I live in the heartlands. It feels like he’s not interested in appreciating my humble life, living in a little HDB; I’m the first gen to even graduate uni,” she said.
When she also offers to help with the household chores, her boyfriend tells her that he’d rather wait for the weekly cleaner ‘because he’s particular about how things are done’ and suggests she use that time to find a job that pays over S$10,000 a month.
“Please tell me, who pays a nearly fresh grad that amount (for non-tech roles)?! I’m starting to wonder if he truly loves and appreciates me or if he is trying to make this a relationship of convenience where he can rest easy so that I can cushion his lifestyle. At the same time, he has nothing else to lose,” she expressed.
“Bow out now. He’s too high maintenance.”
In the comments section, many netizens slammed her boyfriend for being overly calculating and ignoring her financial situation.
One netizen said, “Earning 2M still needs to be split 50-50. Ah, what a joker. Even if you marry him, this kiamsiap dude will probably ask you to pay 50% of the confinement cost. Drop him, girl.”
Another commented, “Are you hung up about the chocolates? Buy your chocolates, girlfriend! He’s exuding cheapskate vibes. I cannot tolerate men who split hairs with their partners. And you’ve been together for 6 years! Not 6 months. Bow out now. He’s too high maintenance.”
A third wrote, “Bruh… quit lying to yourself. It IS a relationship of convenience. Men should NEVER be measured by their words but by their actions. And from his actions…. He’s not in it for the long run.”
Still, a few netizens suggested that the woman trying to raise this issue with her boyfriend and help him understand that splitting the bills equally and her always travelling to see him creates an imbalance in the relationship.
One netizen asked her, “Have you tried speaking to him logically and raising your concerns to negotiate? Maybe split 80:20 and ask if you can move in?”
Splitting expenses
Megan Liscomb, a personal finance editor at Buzzfeed, points out that a strict 50/50 split often doesn’t work well for couples with significant income differences. Instead, she suggests that couples divide expenses based on each person’s income percentage.
For example, if one person earns three times more than the other, they might pay 75% of the bills while the other earns 25%. This way, the financial load feels more fair to both partners, even if their earnings are uneven.
Alternatively, they could follow the example of some other couples and agree on an arrangement where the higher-earning partner covers the larger expenses, like the mortgage and utilities. In contrast, the lower-earning partner handles groceries and household subscriptions.
Another option is to set up a joint account in which both partners contribute their earnings and share everything equally. Liscomb stresses that the most important thing is finding a solution that works for both partners.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)