SINGAPORE: A Singaporean couple who received an invitation to attend their friend’s wedding at the prestigious Fullerton Hotel found themselves in a heated discussion over the amount they should put in the ang bao.
In a post shared on r/askSingapore on Sunday (June 30), the woman recounted how, about a month before the wedding, she casually asked her husband how much he intended to give as a gift.
To her surprise, he suggested $300. “That’s too much for an ang bao, if the both of us go, that will be $600… enough for a whole Bali trip,” she wrote.
“My firm stance and belief is $188. That’s the most I’m willing to pay for a wedding. Honestly, I think I’m quite generous already.”
She argued that if the couple chose to have their wedding at such an extravagant location, they should be prepared to absorb the extra costs.
She questioned why guests should be expected to foot the bill for the hosts’ decision to have a luxurious celebration.
She also mentioned that she and her husband opted out of a traditional wedding because they thought it was expensive.
But, seeing how people who have weddings “have no shame in inviting people and expect them to pay their share of the wedding,” she now wonders if they should have had one after all.
She then asked the online Reddit community, “What are your thoughts? Do y’all pay market price when you go for weddings or pay how much you can afford?”
“Me and my wife have set up a rule of attending as 1 pax unless it’s really close friends”
In the comments section, most Redditors agreed that the amount of ang bao they give depends mainly on their relationship with the couple.
For close friends or relatives, they tend to give above the typical market rate.
For instance, one Redditor who recently attended her cousin’s wedding at The Fullerton Hotel shared that he gave S$888 as a token.
When it comes to friends who aren’t as close, many said they give slightly less than what’s typically suggested on wedding websites.
Some admitted to sticking to a fixed amount below S$200, regardless of the recommended range.
However, for acquaintances, workmates, or relatives they’re not that fond of, many said they’d rather skip the wedding altogether.
One Redditor stated, “I reject all invitations from friends who never even bothered to keep in contact.
Don’t feel bad, not like you’re going to invite them for your own wedding. That way no one owes anyone and no one feels obliged to reciprocate.”
Moreover, others disclosed that they refrain from bringing a plus one for lavish wedding celebrations unless both partners had a personal relationship with the bride and groom beforehand.
One Redditor commented, “Me and my wife have set up a rule of attending as 1 pax unless it’s really close friends/family members we meet regularly.”
Some also advised the woman not to argue with her husband over the ang bao amount.
They suggested that if they can’t agree on how much to give, it might be better for her to consider skipping the wedding altogether.
One Redditor said: “Unless the wedding is less than a month away, I don’t think there’s any issue in letting the couple know only your husband will be going and to remove you from the guest list because you have last minute commitments.
All weddings will have late guest list changes and they should be prepared for that.”
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