Singapore — Local viewers may have heard of Ryan Lian but not many know about his private family drama.
In 2014, the 36-year-old, who was in Jack Neo’s Long Long Time Ago and Ah Boys To Men 4 had reunited with his long-lost younger brother after being apart for 28 years.
Ryan had kept it low profile until recently in order to protect the privacy of his younger brother. Speaking to Shin Min Daily News in an interview on Sept 14, the duo opened up about their journey of finding each other and how they went in their relationship from strangers to brothers.
After he was born, Ryan’s brother, Kevin Soh, who is a year younger than Ryan, was given away to another family. Their parents received a red packet in return.
Kevin, 35, graduated from Nanyang Technological University with a degree in mechanical engineering. When he started working, Kevin handled publicity for a film company before successfully venturing into marketing.
As for Ryan, he was raised by his maternal grandmother for most of his life. Since young, he was interested in martial arts, and he was a wushu instructor before joining the entertainment industry.
For 16 years, Ryan worked as a calefare before making a name for himself in a series of movies. The pandemic and lack of acting jobs had led Ryan to start selling items on live streams. In July, he broke his hand and he admitted that money is tight. Ryan was worried about the medical bills.
Shin Min Daily News reported that if Ryan’s life was like being on a roller coaster, then Kevin’s life could only be described as a “through-train” with a few obstacles.
“Ryan says I’m lucky to have been sent away!” said Kevin, who’s married with kids. The brothers were united in a hotel and they chatted for a very long time. Kevin shared about how he was 18 when he found out that he had an older brother.
“Ryan came to look for me at my home and through the gate, I saw a young man standing outside. My mum had just returned home, and I heard her say, ‘No, don’t find him’.”
Suspicious, he subsequently found out the truth of his adoption, and Kevin ended up not speaking to his adoptive mother for two weeks, as reported by AsiaOne.
Ryan recalled: “At the time, I just wanted to see him to find out if he was a gangster or a studious boy. After I confirmed that it was the latter, I promised his mother that I wouldn’t disturb them.”
Staying true to his word, it was only until several years later that fate led to their paths crossing again. Kevin had signed up to be a participant on the Mediacorp variety talk show Smart at Work.
During the show, he met local actor-comedian Jaspers Lai who immediately commented on his uncanny resemblance to Ryan. Curious, Kevin then messaged Ryan on Facebook. He was unable to get a response from Ryan for some time, but not because the latter was not willing to talk.
The truth was that Kevin’s message laid buried as Ryan did not check his inbox. Finally, he saw the note one night. He described being stunned yet excited. “My brother finally wanted to acknowledge me!” he described, laughing.
“Before we met, I was happy yet scared. Although we were related by blood, we also did not really know each other.”
Kevin remembered a period of time when he refused to bring up his past and held a grudge against his birth parents for giving him away, and also his maternal grandmother for approving the adoption. It was a case of letting bygones be bygones.
The brothers’ grandmother currently living in a nursing home due to dementia. Kevin told Ryan that he would be happy to visit the elderly woman.
Ryan, who is extremely close to his grandma, remembered weeping tears of joy.
Kevin hopes that his experience would encourage others who are adopted. “Your adoptive parents are actually more amazing than your birth parents,” he said, adding that those who are adopted should focus on the brighter side of life instead of dwelling on their past.
Ryan, on the other hand, hopes parents would be more responsible towards their children. “If you want to acknowledge them when they’re older, it would be too late and you’ll regret it,” he shared.
Ryan was the emcee at Kevin’s wedding. Kevin joked that when his brother marries his Malaysian girlfriend, with whom he is in a steady relationship, he would help the couple do a “live stream” wedding.
Kevin said that Ryan may look like a typical Ah Beng, he’s actually a warm-hearted person who understands the importance of gratitude and is diligent in his work.
However, Kevin noted that his older brother is not very sociable, which puts him at a disadvantage in the entertainment industry.
Ryan naturally had only kind words to say about his younger brother. “He’s capable and hardworking. While he used to be very stubborn and hung up on his past, he has changed a lot since becoming a father.”
Kevin added, “I’ve let go (of my past) and don’t harbour any grudges. It might have been a choice that my birth parents had to make, but since they chose to give me up, I won’t intentionally think about looking for them now.”
/TISG