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New maid has a habit of ‘retorting and speaking under her breath’: Employer seeks advice on social media
SINGAPORE: An employer sought advice on social media after noticing that her new helper has a habit of “retorting and speaking under her breath”.
Concerned about maintaining discipline and setting a consistent example for her children, she turned to the “MDW (migrant domestic worker) in Singapore” Facebook group on Thursday (March 6) to seek guidance.
In her post, she explained that she finds such behaviour inappropriate and does not want to overlook it, especially as she has two teenage children at home.
“I don’t want to do a double standard thing,” she said. “One of my (teenagers) even highlighted that I should not let the helper get away with talking back to me because she’s working for us.”
The employer added that she has already spoken to the helper about the issue but remains unsure of how best to address it. “How do I deal with this unacceptable behaviour?” she asked others in the group.
“Open communication is important.”
In the comments section, numerous netizens advised the employer to address the issue immediately whenever the helper “retorts or mutters under her breath”, warning that ignoring it could make it harder to set boundaries later on. Some even suggested that if the behaviour continued despite warnings, the employer should consider letting her go.
One netizen wrote, “It’s a very bad habit and should not be tolerated. Firstly, do you treat her nicely and with respect? If you do, then next time she murmurs under her breath, say, “Yes? Anything?” She will either shut up or say nothing. Then, after that, sit her down and have a good firm talk.”
Another commented, “Give her warnings, three chances. When she used up her second chance, let her know if she do it again, you’ll cancel her work permit and send her home.”
However, not all responses were in agreement. Several netizens pointed out that the employer should first try to understand why the helper was reacting in such a manner.
One netizen explained, “Open communication is important. It takes time, effort and patience to build a good working relationship. Helper is new. Maybe in her culture or in the environment she grow up with, doing such thing is a norm or maybe she grow up without parents or her parents didn’t teach her some manners.”
A few also criticised the employer’s children, stating that just because someone is working for them does not mean they forfeit the right to express themselves. Some emphasised that respect should be mutual and that the helper should not be expected to remain silent if she feels unfairly treated.
One netizen asked, “Does your teenager never talk back to you??? First, I would be putting your teenager back in their place. So it’s OK to talk back to someone if they’re not working for you? I would start with respect within your own family first.”
Meanwhile, another netizen suggested that the employer consider managing without a helper altogether, writing, “You have two teenagers already. You can make do without a helper. For the sanity of your mind, can try no helper.”
Disputes with helpers
The Ministry of Manpower (MOM) advises employers to have open conversations with their helpers whenever any issues arise. Rather than letting small problems build up or making assumptions, addressing concerns directly can help prevent misunderstandings and create a healthier working environment.
However, if an employer discovers that their helper has committed a crime, they shouldn’t try to take matters into their own hands. Instead of confronting the helper aggressively or attempting to punish them, they should report the matter to the authorities and let the proper channels take over.
Read also: SG worker shocked to find herself on HR’s ‘not eligible for rehiring’ list after resigning
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)
