SINGAPORE: A newly married woman took to social media recently to ask Singaporeans for insight on how to deal with the separation anxiety of moving away from her mother.
Getting married and moving out of your parent’s home can be especially hard when you have a good relationship with them. This is the dilemma a newly married woman finds herself in now that it is time to leave her mother’s house and move into her own place with her husband. “I recently got married, and I am moving out into my own place with my husband soon, but I am really close to my mum, and it’s giving me a lot of separation anxiety,” she shared.
The woman highlighted the mixed emotions she now feels during this major life transition. “I want to be happy about moving into a home of my own with my husband, but this feeling really takes a lot of joy out of what should have been an exciting phase of life,” she said. “For context, my parents are divorced, so my mum will eventually be living alone when my only other sibling moves out, too. That worries me a lot, and it doesn’t help that I can’t bear to leave her side in the first place. The thought of it drives me to tears sometimes, and I want to know how the rest of you who are also close to your parents dealt with this. I hate leaving this phase, and I even told my mum to keep my room intact.”
A handful of commenters encouraged the new wife to remember that because Singapore is relatively small, she can always make time to visit her mother, and they can spend time together. One said, “It’s Singapore. You can always go over for dinner every other night. My wife is non-local. Her father passed away during COVID-19, and her mother lives alone. She has an older sister, but they live like a one or two-hour car drive away. She now goes back home every quarter to stay with her mother for at least a week. Luckily, her boss is flexible and allows her to work from her hometown.”
“Don’t worry for her, she’ll be fine,” said another. “You take care of yourself before you take care of her. Separation is not the end; it’s the beginning. That does not end the relationship you have with her. Call her often, visit her and date her out, invite her to your place. Think of the numerous possibilities…”
A few suggested speaking to a therapist or counsellor to address any unresolved trauma that could be causing her to feel separation anxiety.
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