SINGAPORE: After eight years of marriage, a Singaporean man has made the difficult decision to amicably part ways with his wife and file for divorce.
While the couple has come to terms with their differences and agreed that separation is the best path forward, his primary concern lies with their two young children, aged 5 and 7, and how this significant change might affect them in the long run.
On Saturday (Jan 18), he turned to Reddit to seek advice and shared his story with others who may have experienced similar situations.
In his post on r/askSingapore, he explained that although he and his wife have known each other since they were 14, their relationship had evolved over the years into a more functional roommate dynamic than a fulfilling partnership.
“We tried to address our issues and communicate, but nothing seemed to change. Staying together felt like the right choice for the kids at the time, but we’ve now come to accept that separating might be the healthier path for all of us,” he explained.
While both of them are committed to co-parenting, he admitted feeling anxious about how the divorce might shape his kids’ emotional and psychological development, especially in Singapore’s society, where family and societal expectations can be pretty intense.
He asked others in the forum, “For those who’ve been through a similar situation, how did you approach divorce with young kids? How did you help them adjust and minimize the emotional impact?
Are there specific resources or advice you found helpful, particularly in Singapore? Any guidance or shared experiences would mean much to us as we navigate this transition.”
“Never badmouth the other party to your children”
In the comments, many Singaporean Redditors shared advice on how the man and his family could move forward with their lives as peacefully as possible after the divorce.
One Redditor emphasized the importance of shielding the children from parental conflict, saying, “Never badmouth the other party to your children. Keep the kids innocent of your grievances as much as possible.”
Another commented, “Since both of you are ending it on good terms, I think you can consider some counselling as a family to minimize the impact on the children since they are still so young.”
A third Redditor suggested taking proactive steps to ease the transition, writing, “If you always do everything as a whole family—meals, bedtimes, outings, etc.—maybe you can start easing the kids into the new routine by having dad- or mum- only days.
When you finally tell them about the divorce, I aim for a calm and reassuring tone and keep the explanation short. Don’t let that show, no matter how you feel about it. They will look to you to understand how to react.”
Others commended the couple for making a thoughtful decision, noting that filing for divorce rather than ignoring the deep-seated dysfunction in their relationship was a courageous and responsible move.
One Redditor remarked, “If staying together makes things even more toxic and there is no hope for reconciliation, then it makes sense. Kids growing up seeing their parents unhappy or bitter doesn’t bode well.”
In other news, a man took to Reddit on Tuesday (Jan 7) to ask if he and his non-local PR wife, who has zero savings, can afford to have a baby in Singapore.
He shared his concerns on the r/askSingapore forum, saying his wife’s wife has wanted to start a family for a while, but he’s been holding back because of the financial stress he’s dealing with.
Read more: My wife has no savings; can we still afford to have a baby in Singapore?
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