SINGAPORE: A foreigner took to Reddit on Friday (Oct 25) to ask if he was wrong for telling his ‘Singaporean housemate that he eats with his mouth open.’
Over time, he noticed one housemate’s habit of smacking his lips while eating, which he found quite off-putting. “I find it really gross. Every time he eats, I have to leave the room,” he said.
After enduring this behaviour for a while, he addressed the issue directly.
“We were on a trip together—me, the other guy, and one of the Singaporeans. When the Singaporean started eating and smacking his lips again, I asked, ‘Is it common to eat with your mouth open where you’re from?’”
His question, however, did not go over well.
The Singaporean became visibly upset and denied the behaviour, leaving the foreigner confused, as he found it hard to believe that someone could be unaware of such a noticeable habit.
“One of the most awkward moments of my life. Now, the atmosphere is super weird. Was it wrong of me to say something?” he asked.
“I’ve never had someone get this upset just because I pointed something out. Why did he react like that? Telling him was a completely natural thing for me. I did not have any bad intentions at all.”
“You could have told them in private and not embarrassed in front of your other friends.”
In the comments section, numerous Redditors said he was wrong, not necessarily because he pointed out the habit but because of how he said it.
Many emphasized the phrasing of his question might have come off as accusatory rather than constructive.
Some Redditors suggested a more tactful approach would have been to express his discomfort in a less accusatory way. For instance, they recommended saying, “Would you do me a favour and change this behaviour?”
One Redditor added, “There was no need to ask if it was common for people from Singapore. All you had to say was:
‘I’m sorry to bring this up because I’m sure it’s going to make both of us a little uncomfortable, but I have been having a very hard time sharing meals with you because you tend to chew with your mouth open.’
You weren’t actually curious about all Singaporean people chewing with their mouths open; you were annoyed and wanted him to know why.”
A few also speculated his housemate might have felt embarrassed because the question was asked in front of others or because it was posed while he was still eating, which made him more self-conscious.
One Redditor said, “You could have told them privately and not embarrassed in front of your other friends.
Also, he might have some breathing problems/allergies, and he cannot eat with his mouth closed. So assuming it is his ‘culture’ is kinda insulting.”
Others pointed out the importance of being mindful of cultural differences, reminding him what might be considered rude in one culture could be perfectly acceptable in another.
One Redditor shared, “I’ve been in some Asian countries where slurping, smacking your lips and generally being noisy about enjoying your food is the norm.”
On the contrary, several Redditors agreed with the foreigner and said he was not entirely wrong.
They acknowledged that while tact could have been employed, it was reasonable to expect basic table manners in a shared living situation.
One Redditor stated, “Even just reading that made me shudder. Good for you for pointing it out, despite the awkwardness.”
Another remarked, “People who go live in foreign countries need to pay attention and make an effort to adapt—within reason, of course.
If he’s at a table and the only one smacking and chewing his food with his mouth open, he needs to adjust; it’s obvious.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)