SINGAPORE: An employee recently took to social media to share that his colleague became upset when he had to take a medical leave.
“He actually was super unhappy; I was really sick, and he literally reacted with vulgarities back to me when I apologised for causing him to work on my behalf. (He does not have extra work for covering me),” he wrote on r/askSingapore.
He also stated that this was not the first time he felt bullied by his colleague.
“I can let things go but I don’t think I can work with him as his partner. I am okay with keeping a friendly relationship with this colleague but I am not okay to work with him at any circumstances (unless there is no choice).
I have already spoken to my boss about my feelings but it’s futile,” he added.
While he contemplated leaving his job due to the toxic environment created by his colleague, he expressed that he could not leave his job immediately because he had bills to pay and was the sole breadwinner in his family.
“Don’t let your job and career be determined by him.”
A few Singaporeans gave the employee some advice in the comments section: don’t just let things slide. They pointed out that bullies often pick on people who don’t stand up for themselves, so it’s crucial to fight back and not be a pushover.
They also said quitting shouldn’t be the first thing on his mind because he has every right to be there, not the troublemaker causing issues.
One individual cited the saying, ‘even a worm squirms when stepped on,’ implying that it’s okay to stand up for himself and make things a bit uncomfortable for the person who’s been giving him a hard time.
Another individual said, “Don’t let your job and career be determined by him/her. Even if you leave your current job, there is no guarantee that you will not encounter similar people.”
Some also advised the employee to keep a detailed record of any vulgarities sent through chats, texts, or emails, as this documentation could serve as evidence if the situation escalates and requires intervention from management or HR.
On the other hand, a few Redditors speculated that there might be underlying reasons for the colleague’s behaviour and recommended clarifying the situation before taking further action.
They suggested inviting the colleague for lunch or a chat, taking this as a chance to clear the air and sort out any misunderstandings.
One individual added, “If your colleague has to do 2 persons work on 1 person’s pay, he is right to feel mad, though he should not have used vulgarities.
In such a case, your colleague who has to fill the slack numerous times is the more valued employee, notwithstanding that you cannot help being sick.”
Workplace bullying in Singapore
In 2021, Channel News Asia reported about a French national who faced bullying from her boss at WWF Singapore. The story sheds light on how workplace bullying is a bigger issue in Singapore than many realize.
Associate Professor Abhijeet Vadera from the Organisational Behaviour and Human Resources department at the Singapore Management University (SMU) told CNA at the time that employees in Singapore face challenges in speaking up against bullying due to the societal norms that discourage such actions.
Many also hesitate to voice their concerns, believing that doing so will not lead to meaningful change.
He also mentioned that being in a harmful workplace not only impacts the psychological well-being of the person being targeted by bullies but also has significant repercussions for the company.
This is because employees might begin to disengage from their duties or only do the necessary work rather than exceed expectations, which is crucial for the organization’s success.
How to deal with workplace bullies
According to Very Well Mind, a reputable source for health and wellness insights, it’s crucial to set clear boundaries right from the start.
This means directly addressing individuals who bully you and letting them know their unacceptable behaviour.
If their behaviour persists, experts advise keeping documentation of the abuse, including details like the time and specifics of what occurred. Note any witnesses present and save any documents or records supporting your claims.
Having documented evidence can be instrumental when escalating the issue to higher authorities, such as HR or management.
Most importantly, prioritize self-care during difficult periods. Lean on friends or family for support, engage in relaxation methods to handle stress, and don’t hesitate to contact a mental health expert if you feel overwhelmed or distressed.
Read also: “Do you share how much increment and bonuses you received with your colleagues?” — Employee asks
Featured image by Depositphotos