SINGAPORE: A 21-year-old Singaporean woman is stirring up some serious buzz online after revealing she’s dated over 30 men in the past year.
In a candid post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum on Wednesday (Dec 11), she shared her thoughts on the challenges of dating in Singapore, describing it as “exhausting and expensive.”
“It’s exhausting to date in Singapore. The prices are definitely insane. I usually insist on going 50/50 for first dates, and I spend an average of $100+ on one date,” she wrote.
Unfortunately, the monetary aspect isn’t the only hurdle. She pointed out the awkwardness of Singapore’s small dating pool, where everyone seems to know everyone.
To illustrate, she shared a cringe-worthy moment when she discovered her date was one of her dad’s junior coworkers.
“I’m quite close with my parents, so I told them I’m on a date and gave them his name and my location for safety reasons, and my dad ended up realizing it was his co-worker,” the woman shared.
“The guys I dated in university are still finding their purpose in life, so I started dating somewhat older men, the oldest being 32.” Despite her efforts, the woman shared that she often encounters the same “types” of men, none of whom seem to be a good fit.
First, there are the ‘Singaporeans with a traditional mindset,’ who are all about ‘getting a BTO flat and staying in Singapore forever,’ with the occasional trips abroad.
“Nothing against that, just not for me; I grew up in SG and went to local neighbourhood schools, but my parents are foreigners, so definitely never felt super local and don’t really see myself settling down here,” she said.
The second type of men she meets are expats who don’t seem to take relationships seriously. “They just want to fool around with an Asian girl as a novelty,” she said.
And the third type is the male halves of ethically non-monogamous (ENM) couples.
“In my experience (quite limited, six men only), the female half wants another relationship because she’s not emotionally fulfilled and the male half just simp lorh,” she wrote.
Exasperated by the whole experience, she asked others in the Reddit community, “Why is dating in SG so hard?”
“Girl went on a date with 30+ men and thinks men are the problem…”
Many were shocked by the woman’s dating journey, with some expressing outright disbelief at how she managed to go on over 30 dates in just a year.
One Redditor said, “Dating 30+ men in one year and spending $100+ on the first date per person (even considering going 50/50) as a 21-year-old is insane.”
Another commented, “Not gonna lie, I think it is crazy that someone dated 30 men in a year.”
However, others criticized the woman, suggesting that if she had been on so many dates and still hadn’t found the right person, the problem might not lie with the men she was meeting but rather with her approach or expectations.
One Redditor wrote, “Girl went on a date with 30+ men and thinks men are the problem… Maybe you’re the red-flagged one.”
Another suggested, “I think you need to be upfront on your profile and say that you’re looking to emigrate. Rather than match and reject 1-2 dates because your goals don’t align.”
Several Redditors also suggested the woman take a break from dating to focus on herself—whether by pursuing hobbies, spending time with friends, or enjoying her independence. They felt this would help her reflect on what she truly wants in a partner.
In related news, earlier this month, young Singaporeans took to Reddit to share their thoughts on the major dealbreakers in relationships.
Many users took the opportunity to open up about their personal experiences, outlining what they believe are the non-negotiable aspects when it comes to dating.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)