SINGAPORE: A Singaporean worker had her trust shattered, and her office world flipped upside down when her so-called “workplace friends” chose to spread false rumours about her.
In a post on r/SingaporeRaw, she shared her painful experience and sought advice from the online community. “Feel like I can’t trust anyone; I dislike being in the office and, as a result, have absolutely no bloody mood to come to work,” she explained how she felt.
“I love my job but hate my colleagues. I found out that most of those that I considered as “friends” were spreading false rumours about me behind my back and absolutely assassinated my character,” she wrote.
Providing more context about her situation, she explained that she opened up to her colleagues that she felt uneasy when a junior colleague made advances toward her despite being aware that she had a partner.
She also mentioned that she had no interest in him and declined all the gifts he attempted to give her.
“Eventually, my colleagues advised me to confront the junior colleague about it, and I did. From there on, the junior colleague stopped his advances, and we became friends.
We would occasionally get coffee together at our pantry (which I assumed is totally normal given that we all do this at our office),” she said.
However, their interactions were grossly misinterpreted by her colleagues. They took her attempts at maintaining a professional, friendly relationship with the junior colleague and spun it into a negative narrative.
“They started spreading the rumours that I am leading the guy and that I am cheating on my partner, despite the fact that they are aware of how I felt about the situation,” she continued.
Adding to the turmoil, the junior colleague also took advantage of her kindness by spreading rumours that they were romantically involved.
“I have only interacted with him within the office space so it baffles me how one would be so brave to even come up with such rumours. But I guess optics matters and I should’ve been more careful. That’s my fault,” she lamented.
“Any idea how to make work seem a little bit more bearable when you’re surrounded by people you cannot even look at?” she asked for advice.
“You’ve got to stand up for yourself, call them out, and state the facts.”
In the comments section, fellow Redditors offered a mix of empathy, advice, and solidarity. Many shared their experiences navigating difficult work environments and provided practical suggestions for managing them.
One Redditor suggested that she document everything related to the situation, including conversations and interactions, to protect herself if the rumours escalate or if she needs to address the issue with HR.
She said, “Collect screenshots and video recordings if your guy colleague flirts with you.”
Another Redditor recommended that she consider having a direct and honest conversation with her colleagues about the rumours.
He said, “Sorry to hear, but you’ve got to stand up for yourself, call them out, and state the facts. Be it in real-life confrontation or group chat. If they don’t listen, you can go to HR and tell them you’re suffering from workplace harassment and that you’ve exhausted all your options.
If HR can’t fix it, you report to MOM. If what you say is true, this would get sorted out soon enough, and no one will blame you for standing up to a toxic work environment.”
A few also encouraged her to focus on self-care and to ignore her colleagues as much as possible throughout her workday, except when necessary. They reminded her there’s no obligation to make friends in the workplace.
One Redditor said, “Don’t look at anyone, just look at your comp screen. Minimize conversation; the less you talk to them, the less information they have about you to spread rumours.”
Another commented, “Just sit one corner, away from them and be cordial. No need to make friends with them.”
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