SINGAPORE: Feeling rejected and confused, a 26-year-old man took to social media to share that he is being disowned by his father for one minor reason: he used his toilet without cleaning it.
“He got mad that I used his toilet without cleaning it even though they hired a part time cleaner to do it every weekend, and if you are wondering if I did flush or clean off the water drainage, I did . But he got mad at it, and just because of that, he decided to disown me, and he said I did not contribute to the house,” the man wrote on r/askSingapore on Friday (Mar 1).
The man said that he had only recently begun living with his father and that, contrary to what his father had accused him of, he paid him some money monthly, albeit in small amounts because he was still studying. He also never burdened him with housework, as he washed his own clothes and hired a part-time maid to clean his room once a week.
Despite his efforts, however, his father thought he was still being a nuisance. He said his father complained whenever he went out too much or spent too much time in his room playing games.
“Staying with my mom wouldn’t help either, as she was also toxic and manipulative. What else can I do? What did I do to deserve this? I’ve been holding this for too long, and I can’t stand it anymore.”
He also said that his father was serious about disowning him after hearing him call other family members about it and telling them not to help him.
“He did not pay for my school fees, and the things that I got were all paid for by me as I work really hard to choose my own path. He has not helped me pay anything since I was 18. I’m just shocked that, because of a small mistake, he decided to disown me, saying I don’t deserve to be his son and I’m a disgrace to my family,” the man said.
“I really don’t think it’s about the toilet. Your dad is up to something.”
Most Singaporean redditors in the comments section speculated that his father’s actions were motivated by something other than the toilet incident.
One redditor said, “I really don’t think it’s about the toilet. Your dad is up to something.”
While another commented, “Some important context is missing. You said you recently started living with your dad – what was your and his living situation before this, and what led to you starting to live with him?
Don’t personally think whatever you’ve done/not done is particularly egregious, but the backstory may help to explain his seemingly extreme reaction.”
Others, meanwhile, told the man not to blame himself, as it seemed that his father was only dissatisfied with the new living arrangement and was using any excuse (such as the toilet incident) as a pretext to force him out of the house.
They also advised him to hide for a bit and make preparations to locate another place to live in case things did not work out.
One redditor also offered a helping hand, writing, “Message me privately if you want, dude. I had an abusive father as well.”
Another redditor commented, “Feel very sorry for you. If you don’t have any close friend or relative that can help, please do reach out to MSF Family Counseling hotline. If you are 26, aren’t you earning? What’s your education and work situation?”
In similar news, a young man also took to social media earlier this week to reveal that his father threatened to disown him if “he doesn’t make it into NUS, NTU, or any of the top universities.”
“Honestly, I’m anxious and scared that I won’t be able to make it into a good university just because of this. It would literally ruin my family and my life. Everyone’s been telling me that it is hard to get into a good university through polytechnic, which makes me even more anxious,” the young man wrote on an online forum.