SINGAPORE: A woman shared on social media that her husband is extremely frugal to the point where “they fight over every purchase they make.”
In her post on r/askSingapore, she admitted that she knew her husband was tight with money before they married, but living with his obsession with saving every penny has been tougher than expected.
They’ve been waiting for over four years to move into their dream home, only to be bickering nonstop over what furniture and appliances to buy.
“He often defaults to the cheapest item without consideration for other factors like functionality, quality, brand or my preference. I’ve to explain why I want this appliance and find the best deal for what I want for our home, and it’s getting tiring and frustrating,” she complained.
She emphasized that their financial situation is solid. She and her husband have stable jobs and contribute equally to their joint account.
“I don’t understand why he needs to be so budget-conscious to the point of us fighting over every single item. Feels a little penny wise pound foolish,” she said.
“I probably sound like a spoilt brat but I’m really not… I’d like to be able to spend on some household items freely, without feeling guilty or the need to explain myself to him. I’m burned out from having to justify every expense.”
“You need to talk this through with him.”
In the discussion thread, a few Singaporean Redditors speculated that her husband might be dealing with underlying fears about financial security, which could explain his rigid approach to spending.
One Redditor said, “Try to see things from his perspective. Your finances are comfortable now, but maybe his upbringing taught him that you should spend sunny days planning for rainy ones.”
Another added, “He was probably always thrifty due to his own background but a large outflow of money, which is inevitable, at the start of a new home, is making him panic more I think.
You need to talk this through with him. It will be good for both of you since he sees you as someone lighting money on fire while you see him as budget bunny.”
Others also offered practical advice on how to help the woman communicate the benefits of choosing higher-quality items over cheaper alternatives.
One Redditor shared, “I’m just sharing what works for hubby and I. He is also budget conscious and I’m not really.
What we did was we created excel sheet listing every item we needed to buy, our budgets and the price of things of that item we were interested in. Eg fridge A how much vs fridge B how much vs fridge C and their pros and cons.
Then we looked at overall and decided where to splurge and save. That gave us a mental picture of how much we were spending and which month.”
Another added, “Men and women view things differently. Instead of telling the value, convenient and etc…, explain to him who will be the one making the effort. Also is he willing to fork out the money yearly to replace the product? Hired people to do the repair and replacement?
Who will be the one doing the job? Filling up the water, boiling the water, if spoil, who will be the one replacing it? Who will be the one cleaning up?”
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