‘Mind reading expectation is the worst’: Singapore man urged to rethink 2-month relationship

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man says his girlfriend expects him to read her mind, keep track of her period-related moods, and spend thousands of dollars on gifts and dates, despite the couple having been officially together for only two months.

In a post on r/sgdatingscene, the man said their short relationship had already brought several disagreements over communication, gifts, and the amount of money he spends on her.

“She expects me to know what she wants without her telling me, like I'm a mind reader. She expects me to know her period cycle and her period mood stages without her telling me again. She also gives me attitude when she's on her period or when I don't understand her, and when I ask her, she doesn't want to tell me.”

The man also recalled what happened on her birthday.

He bought her silver jewellery, took her to a restaurant with a good view, and got her a cake and chocolates. Although he felt she enjoyed most of the celebrations, he said he could tell she was disappointed with the jewellery and would have preferred gold.

According to him, his girlfriend later told him that her birthday was “a big day” and that she should receive a gift that “holds more value.”

The man later suggested taking her on a trip and buying another gift, which he estimated could cost a few thousand dollars in total.

Moreover, he said he had also been spending money on transport to see her, renting a vehicle once or twice a week to pick her up after work, take her for dinner and drive her home.

He initially saw the arrangement as part of making an effort in the relationship, but said he now feels she has become accustomed to it and expects him to do it more frequently.

“I think she is used to it and sort of wants it to be more often, which I find it to be costly.”

“What are your thoughts on this? I don't expect like the same treatment whereby she showers me with expensive gifts, but I just hope she will be more willing to communicate her thoughts and wants with me. I’m having second thoughts about this relationship, whether it will work or last.”

‘Please have some self-respect for yourself’

Commenters largely urged him to walk away if the dynamic doesn’t change.

Many asked what his girlfriend has contributed to the relationship, warning that “princess syndrome” tends to worsen over time. 

One of the most-upvoted comments said the expectation that a partner should “magically know what she wants without speaking up was the biggest red flag.”

They added, “Mind-reading expectation is the worst. In my honest opinion, if she needs or wants anything, she can voice it out, yet she expects you to magically know it.”

Another advised, “You better think hard and fast, brother. My gf and I live together, and she splits the rent with me, taking turns to buy groceries and other stuff. Your relationship doesn’t sound equitable in any way to me. Please have some self-respect for yourself. If not, she will just disrespect you further.”

A third commenter encouraged him to find someone “who understood his struggles and appreciated the effort he put into the relationship.”

In other news, a Singaporean woman has questioned whether girls should be expected to spend hours getting ready for dates when the men they meet insist on splitting the bill equally.

The woman raised the issue in a post on r/sgdatingscene on Tuesday (Oct 6), saying several men she had gone out with told her she should put more effort into her appearance.

Read also: ‘He wants to go Dutch but expects me to doll up’: Singapore woman questions dating double standards