SINGAPORE: A recent social media post from a Singaporean woman sparked a heartfelt and encouraging conversation among middle-income, middle-aged singles. She asked singles in their 30s to 40s, “What does your future look like?”
Approaching 35, the woman shared her thoughts on housing and life plans, saying she’s currently content with staying home with her ageing parents.
She wrote, “When I was younger, I couldn’t wait to move out of my family home. Then, I was fortunate enough to have the opportunity to live independently for a few years in my 20s.
Now that I’m older, somehow, living at home is not so bad. Parents are getting older too; I feel more assured being around to keep an eye on them and help out around the house. No partner and not looking. Not eligible for BTO when I turn 35.
A resale is very tempting, but my parents’ home is big enough to live comfortably with a good amount of personal space. Sometimes I miss living alone, but I question the need to spend $4-500k just to have my own space when my parents don’t bother me at home anyway,” she added.
According to her, she plans to spend the next 10 years staying with her parents, renovating their home, and hopefully buying a second-hand car. This would allow her father to drive for Grab when he retires and provide convenience for her ageing parents.
She also hopes to maintain a disposable income, as she doesn’t have a mortgage, to enjoy life with her parents during their golden years. “Eat better food, holidays, better healthcare. I have zero desire to contribute to the TFR (total fertility rate).
I’m contented…it sounds like a good plan to me!” she added. Despite occasional feelings of peer comparison, she remains optimistic about the next phase of her life, saying, “It’s a work in progress.”
Many others joined the conversation, sharing similar sentiments about their future plans. One commenter, aged 33, shared that he’s living with his mother after the passing of his father and has no plans to move out soon.
“I recently switched to a freelance job so I can travel more. Without additional financial burdens, I can work less and just enjoy life. Life is looking pretty good,” he said.
Another commenter admired the positive and inspiring nature of the conversation, noting it provided a refreshing contrast to the usual rants about inflation and the cost of living.
“Your post should be an example for everyone else. It is positive and inspiring. There are trails of empathy and contentment, and yet, not a sight of anxiety or envy in there.
It’s a breeze to read posts like this from amongst all other posts ranting about inflation and difficulty of living,” they wrote.
One 38-year-old woman shared how moving out of her parents’ home improved her mental health. “I just turned 38 years old, and I bought my 3-room HDB resale 2.5 years ago.
My parents are the sort that are pretty toxic micromanagers, and they have no respect for boundaries + a whole lot of stuff. They’re emotionally neglectful, use me as a therapist, and are often verbally abusive.
I grew out of the physically abusive part, so moving out has done wonders for my mental health. I learned a lot. The future is bright! I’m single and not looking. I rented out a room to my best friend and platonic life partner, so I have a stream of passive income coming in.
We have a netherland dwarf bunny! I plan to retire in 12-15 years. I’m pretty happy as things are. I’m planning to continue living simply,” she wrote.
One father commented that his three daughters, who are in their mid to late twenties, professionals and unattached, live with him and his wife in their 30-year-old 5-room HDB flat.
He recalled his eldest daughter asking him while watching a Hong Kong drama at home, “Dad, is it okay if I stay single and stay with you and mum forever?” He responded supportively, “Why not? This is also your house, and I don’t have to be a grandfather if that’s not what you want.”
A commenter asked why many middle-aged singles choose to remain unattached. According to the woman who posted, which also resonated with many, “I’ve become too comfortable being alone. I can’t imagine having to share my space, my time, or my bed with a partner.
Sometimes I miss being attached, but my friends’ relationship woes make those feelings disappear instantly. I don’t feel lonely, so I’m not looking.”
One man admitted that he hasn’t planned far into the future but is content “just continuing with the status quo” with his current lifestyle, supported by his passive income from dividends.
As the 38-year-old woman perfectly summed up, “For me, the future is bright!” /TISG
Read also: “The problem is rent” — Singaporeans say rising food prices are also due to high land prices
Featured image by Depositphotos