SINGAPORE: In a rather harsh post, a man called out mothers, “especially the new ones”, and told them to ‘shut up’.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man said: “Since forever, all y’all do is complain about how tired you are being a mother. Go to any social medias (sic) platform and you’ll see comic strips or quotes about the struggle of being mothers”.

He added that they were the ones who chose to be mothers, and while it was not going to be easy, that was life. “Get over it. You picked the motherhood life, so just do your duty as a mother and stop expecting sympathy from everyone. You don’t see fathers complain about being fathers. Rarely there’s ever a quotes page or comic strip about the struggle of being fathers. You don’t hear how fathers say they are worried of not being able to provide for the family, especially their kids. It’s cause once they worry, they don’t go complain and expect sympathy. They just do their duty and do what needs to be done”, the man wrote.

The man added that even if fathers were to bring up their issues, no one would care. But when mothers did the same, everyone gave them validation. “So stop yapping about the fact you can’t sleep at night cause your baby is crying. Stop yapping about how your man just seems to had it “easy” than you cause reality is he simply didn’t show you that he’s having a tough time too. On top of it all, quit yapping about not having enough time for yourself. Again, you chose to be mothers then obviously you’ll spend more time with your children. Enjoy the process instead of complaining”, the man wrote.

Netizens who commented on the post were divided. Some said that they agreed with him, but others said that he sounded quite bitter.

One said: “I kinda agree with him. I have seen fathers with absent mothers but there arent posts about supporting fathers in such positions. Posting on social media also gives the wrong impression to mothers who actually don’t have it that bad. One would just relate any small issues and feel that they have it bad as they try to relate to it”.

Another, however, added: “No leh.. actually it’s not easy for them. Even if they chose to have a baby. The pain and ache after childbirth, the feeding and pumping. Then not all babies are godsent that can sleep through the nite. We as father really have it easy… At least we dun have to endure the pain and engorgement of the breasts. It’s our baby too so we should join in”.

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media complaining that he was asked to return his company laptop after he was retrenched. He wanted to know if there would be consequences if he chose not to return the laptop.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that he had just been retrenched. He explained that he was hired through an employer-of-record arrangement. An employer of record (EOR) is an entity that legally employs workers on behalf of another business. An EOR takes full responsibility for all aspects of employment, including compliance, payroll, taxes, and benefits.

“A few weeks before I was retrenched, I received a signed letter from my employer confirming that I have passed my probation. However, as the letter did not come from the Employer-of-Record, I was given much less payment in-lieu of notice as the company argued that the letter of confirmation needs to come from the Employer-of-Record. I disputed the arrangement and called the company out for being disingenuous. I also told them that I will be holding on to the company laptop until they honor the letter of confirmation they gave me”, the man wrote.

He added that he had already received his last payment from the company, without the full payment in lieu of notice, and staff from the IT department had asked him to return the laptop. In his post, he asked netizens what his chances were of getting the company to pay him the full sum in lieu of notice if he takes his employment letter to the Manpower Ministry. He also wanted to know the possible consequences if he did not return the laptop.

Netizens asked him to refer to his employment contract. Others also suggested he go to the Manpower Ministry to clarify his doubts.

One commented: “Well.. refer to the contract. If the contract got nothing on this, it is their property, have to return. If goes to court, assuming they want to bring you there, you not receiving the compensation you want wouldn’t be considered as it is a seperate matter altogether. Try negotiating with them”.

Another netizen said: “I’m no expert in this, Since you have passed your probation, they have to pay you in accordance with the LOA sign. Question is, do you still have the LOA? Bring it down to MOM to resolve this dispute”. /TISG

SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to talk about her husband’s perfectionistic tendencies and how they have led to her not enjoying his company anymore.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman said her 33-year-old husband has built up anxiety due to his perfectionistic habits. She said “he is always wanting to be perfect and when I make little ‘mistakes’ like not closing the curtains properly, not sleeping straight, not drying the sink, or sitting at the balcony in my old clothes,just to name a few, he becomes paranoid and upset. And this doesn’t allow me to enjoy life. I just want to switch on the aircon due to the hot weather but he’s saying it’s gonna cost us high electrical bills. When I put the washing machine on ‘soak’ mode because I just want to ensure my clothes are clean, he would tell me to use ‘ speed’ mode instead”, she wrote.

The woman added that she would like to live in the moment, but her husband was constantly worried about the future and would always find fault with the things she does. She said that he was a middle-born child while she was the youngest. She added that she tended to be whimsical, but he thought she was difficult to get along with. “Worst part is, during a recent church service we attended, the pastor was describing our habits/ situation perfectly. I laughed and laughed cos I could easily identify with the problems he was describing. My partner could not see what’s so funny about it”, she wrote.

The woman added that she was not able to live with his anxiety or perfectionistic ways any longer and said that even though they shared the same faith, she did not enjoy his company in the house anymore.

She asked netizens if others felt the same way. One said: “Your personalities are different. I’m not saying anyone is right or wrong. You’re just different. Different in something that has a huge impact on the health of relationship. It certainly doesn’t help in your relationship. It’s bound to get broken sooner or later. So break up before it’s too late”.

Another said: “So you’re not asking if you should leave him but if there are couples who are like you? Does it matter? What a painful way to live. You’re not compatible and you are resentful towards him. Take time to accept this fact and do something about it. Even if by sheer miracle that you can spend decades together, how toxic is the home environment going to be? There are more peaceful ways to live a life”.