There are many things we can do to make relationships better but conversely the opposite is also true and we may be doing things that are in fact making the relationship worse without us realising it.

Author of Should I Stay or Should I Go? Surviving a Relationship With a Narcissist, Dr. Ramani Durvasula says that relationships typically don’t end over one big thing, but rather lots of little things that slowly bleed it to death.

Since little things don’t seem like a big deal it’s easy to let them go until they pile up and become something huge that feels impossible to change.

“In some ways, the bad habits weaken the foundation of a relationship, leave people feeling more vulnerable, less invested, more full of self-doubt and more likely to surrender or less able to collaborate when under stress,” she says.

Here are some things that you can avoid doing or make a mental note to do less of:

1. Being on the phone all the time

Even if it’s a work thing splitting your time between work and your partner all the time can make them feel like neglected.

Marriage counselor and family therapist David Klow says, “It can help to either be all present with your partner or let them know that you can talk once you are off your phone.”

You can say something like ‘I have to take this call but after that you will have my full attention.’

2. Jokes in public at your partners expense

It’s easy sometimes to laugh at each other’s foibles in private but doing it in public is a huge no-no even if it’s couched as a joke. Do not joke about the new haircut, the new diet or anything that might be considered hurtful by your partner in public or among friends.

3. Don’t keep score even if you don’t say it out loud

Do not keep track of the rights and wrongs and how many times your partner has ticked you off. Let it go because it’s just going to fast track you to misery.

“Counting the rights and wrongs that each person does can cause pettiness and resentment,” says Klow. Instead his advice is to take a long term view and see that over time, the give and take may balance itself out.

4. You’re passive-aggressive

Passive aggressive behaviour in a relationship reflects indirect communication and a fair amount of unhappiness that challenges your self-esteem and insecurity. Durvasula classifies it as a ‘relationship killer’.

5. Do not start arguments over text messages

Text messages cannot be interpreted well as it does not reflect any emotion and can easily be misconstrued. Stay well away from stating your feelings over text when you can have face to face contact and a real conversation.

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Marriages don’t just end overnight there are a series of events that makes the relationship erode over time. Relationship experts talk about some of the signs to watch out for:

1. An eerily quite household

No laughter, no chatter and just quietness in general is not a good sign at all. Conversations are cursory and there is no deep conversation other than things like who is going to take out the garbage or do some other basic chores.

2. Most of the communication is sarcastic or results in arguments

Author of Love that Works: A Guide to Enduring Intimacy, loveologist and sex educator, Wendy Strgar says, “You’re living in a land mine where the heart connection that keeps relationships safe has eroded and no one is expressing themselves except through indirect, passive-aggressive comments.”

3. You think about other people and not just a little bit

If you spend a lot of time thinking about other people it’s quite probable that your emotional needs are not being met. Marriage counselor and relationship coach Samantha Burns says, “You might think you’re just looking but this is a breach of trust and security in your relationship, even if you don’t message or go out with anyone. In an at-risk marriage you look outside of the relationship to feel attractive, desired or to feel like you matter.”

4. You hardly touch each other

Happy couples tend to hold hands more, lean against each other and less of this is not a good sign at all. Strgar says that generally when a marriage has no genuine relationship to hold to, the idea of sex is also unappealing. “If either of you is saying no to sex perpetually, you need to look deeper at what is really going on,” says Strgar.

5. You would rather spend time with your friends than your significant other

If you rather go out with your friends and have stopped enjoying leisure time with your partner that’s not a good thing either. The same applies if your primary mode of communication is via text, it signals drifting.

Burns say having a ‘we’ mindset instead of a ‘me’ mindset is important in a relationship. So if any of the above is already happening, take action or it might just be too late.

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At an age where infidelity often makes headlines and relationships seem fleeting, the idea of staying faithful forever appears elusive. However, there are men who stand firm in their commitment to a lifelong bond with their partners.

Being faithful forever

What drives these men to stay faithful forever?

Economics – Cheating comes at a high cost – emotionally, financially, and socially. The guilt, secrecy, and potential fallout from infidelity can be emotionally draining. Moreover, affairs can lead to divorce, alimony, and legal complications, which can be financially crippling. Many men recognize that the price of cheating is simply not worth it.

Upbringing – The values instilled in some men from a young age, including respect, loyalty, and commitment, shape their understanding of what it means to be in a loving and long-lasting relationship. These men honor the teachings of their parents and guardians and carry these principles into their own relationships.

Sticking-to-one – Some men simply have no desire to be with anyone other than their partner. Their love, affection, and emotional connection are so profound that they cannot imagine being in the arms of another.

Consequence not worth the trouble – The potential consequences of infidelity can be devastating. From shattered trust to broken families, the fallout is often a painful and life-altering experience.

Overwhelming anxiety – Anxiety and stress accompany infidelity. Keeping secrets, sneaking around, and fearing discovery create immense anxiety that can erode one’s well-being and attractiveness. Men who value a peaceful and harmonious relationship understand that anxiety is far from attractive.

Immunity to remorse – Men who stay faithful forever acknowledge that infidelity can desensitize a person to feelings of remorse. They realize that repeatedly betraying their partner can lead to a sense of callousness and emotional detachment.

Deeply personal

The decision to stay faithful forever is deeply personal and multifaceted. It is a combination of upbringing, emotional connection, values, and the awareness of the profound consequences of infidelity. These men choose to embrace the beauty of a loving, faithful relationship and make a conscious effort to preserve it. Their loyalty is a testament to their commitment, understanding of infidelity’s cost, and unwavering love for their partners.

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In a regal and thought-provoking address, King Charles III, flanked by Queen Camilla, graced the City of London with his presence, where he delivered a poignant speech that delved into the current royal rift and the pressing issues of our times. His Majesty seized the moment to convey a powerful message of unity and cooperation, imploring his subjects to rise above the din of discord.

Calls for unity and cooperation

“The instinct to cooperate wherever and whenever possible is deep within us. Even in the most fractious times – when disagreements are polished, paraded, and asserted – there is in our land a kind of muscle memory that does not have to be like this,” King Charles proclaimed.

His words carried a profound weight, as he called for an end to the cacophony of shouting matches, urging for constructive and uplifting dialogues in our increasingly complex and interconnected society. “That the temptation to turn ourselves into a shouting or recriminatory society must be resisted, or at least heavily mitigated whenever possible, especially in the digital sphere, where civilized debate too often gives way to rancor and acrimony,” he emphasized.

King Charles went further, seeking a revival of decency and a better understanding among his subjects. “These instincts come together in perhaps the deepest of all our reservoirs—the one that irrigates our crucial sense of responsibility, both individual and collective—that enables us to fulfill our duties as good citizens who understand, without having to write them down or formalize them, the decencies on which our institutions and our constitution depend, as well as our relationships, one to another.”

Subtle message to end royal rift

Royal commentator Angela Levin hinted at the unspoken messages behind the King’s eloquent words. She postulated that King Charles may have been addressing the ongoing tensions with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.

In her view, King Charles’s message serves as a subtle warning to Prince Harry, suggesting that demands for apologies should not overshadow the broader call for civility and mutual respect.

The Duke and Duchess of Sussex now face a challenging path if they seek reconciliation with the Royal Family. Will the Royal rift end?

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