SINGAPORE: A woman shared on social media that she chose to forgive her boyfriend of four years after finding out he cheated on her with a female ex-colleague.
In an anonymous post on SGWhispers, she shared that she recently found out her boyfriend had been in regular contact with this ex-colleague. He even invited her out for a meal at HDL, offered to pick her up, and said he’d take care of the reservation—things he rarely did for her.
“Mind you, he never books anything when going out to eat at a café or restaurant with me, friends, or family. He always asks me to research and book,” she wrote.
“In my mind, I was thinking, ‘Oh, you can make bookings for her, but never for me.’ Even on Valentine’s Day, he asked me to book and said he’d just pay. Just book wherever I want. Like, bro, I feel so stupid.”
The woman also mentioned that while she sometimes gets messages from other guys who are in relationships, she never responds because she thinks it’s unfair to their partners and to her boyfriend.
“I don’t react to those messages because I know he will be uncomfortable. Like BFFR??? Why don’t I receive the same energy back?” she said.
Her boyfriend insisted that the ex-colleague was just a ‘friend,’ but she finds this hard to believe since he constantly updates this girl about his day—something he usually shares with her. When she confronted him about it, he said it was just a ‘casual chat’ and nothing harmful.
“Walao, imagine I did the same thing with a guy. Different reaction already. He would probably say, ‘No, this guy is a butterfly; it’s different. He obviously wants something from you,” she went on.“It’s very embarrassing for me to have a man who keeps updating another girl about his life instead of me. Why can you do that to an ex-colleague? Make booking la. Go fetch her, la. But when it comes to me, you sometimes say it’s too far.”
Despite the hurt caused by his betrayal, she acknowledged that “no relationship is perfect” and that everyone makes mistakes. She weighed the good times against this painful revelation and ultimately decided that their love was worth fighting for.
“I know we need to compromise and forgive each other. He is really good to me and spoiled me a lot. Anyhow, he apologized, and I choose to forgive him,” she expressed.
“Know your value.”
In the comments section, several netizens were confused as to why she forgave her boyfriend and questioned if it was truly worth it.
One netizen asked, “Aiyo this kind of man you still want? Already put you second place already. Know your value.”
Another said, “4 years, mahz, took you for granted, liao. I know this feeling. everything just leaves for you to do. Time to let him DO something, liao. If not, just dump him and find a better one.”
A third netizen commented, “Just drop him, bro. Forget it; he’s shown he can put in effort, but just not for you. And seriously, who updates their life to an ex-colleague? Jin close meh?”
Forgiving a cheating partner: Is it worth it?
We’ve all heard the advice, “Forgiveness is the key to moving on.” But when it comes to a cheating partner, that advice can feel like a slap in the face. Should you forgive them? Is it even possible to rebuild trust after such a betrayal?
The truth is, there’s no easy answer. While relationship experts might offer a million different opinions, at the end of the day, the choice is yours.
According to Regain, a website that offers relationship advice and therapy, if you choose to work things out with your partner, you might be able to address the issues that led to the betrayal and rebuild a stronger, more fulfilling relationship. Plus, you can hold on to the dreams and plans you’ve made for the future.
However, you also need to acknowledge that this can end poorly. It’s ultimately a gamble because if your partner had the capacity to cheat on you, there’s a high chance they could do it again. It can also give them the impression that you’ll always forgive them, no matter what.
Moreover, there’s a risk that you’ll never fully move on from the pain. Some days, you may feel like you’ve gotten over it, but during tough times or arguments, those haunting memories may resurface.
Additionally, by choosing to forgive them, you might miss out on the chance to find someone who treats you with the respect and loyalty you deserve.
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