SINGAPORE: Starting your first full-time job is never a walk in the park, but for one Singaporean, it’s been especially tough as his coworkers seem “cold” and even “deliberately dismissive.”
Posting on Reddit’s Ask Singapore forum on Sunday (April 20), he explained, “From my very first week, I’ve felt out of place. Despite my efforts to be friendly and initiate small talk, I often feel ignored. We’re expected to have lunch together daily as a team, which should be a good opportunity to bond—but for me, it’s been the most stressful part of the day.”
He continued, “For example, there’s one coworker who never acknowledges me. I’ve tried to make conversation, only to be blatantly ignored while they continue chatting with others. This happens almost every day, and it’s mentally draining. I’ve even broken down a few times in private because it’s been so isolating.”
Despite the struggle, the man said he couldn’t just quit because he needed the income, and he knew finding another job wasn’t easy.
Seeking advice, he asked members of the forum, “How do you navigate tough work environments like this, especially when you feel excluded? Any tips for staying mentally strong and making the best of the situation? Is this something that might improve with time, or should I just focus on doing my job and not worry about fitting in socially?”
“Working life is tough to navigate, but it gets better with experience.”
In the discussion thread, most Singaporean Redditors agreed that building friendships at work shouldn’t be a priority, since the main purpose of a job is simply to earn a living.
One said, “Remember, at the end of the day, work is just a means to an end. Your colleagues are not your friends. Be cordial and polite, and don’t let emotions get in the way. Working life is tough to navigate, but it gets better with experience.”
Another commented, “I’m really sorry that you’re experiencing this; it’s not the best feeling to have. I went through similar situations as you did, and I am still learning to adjust, too. What kept me going in a bad situation or tough day was reminding myself that I’m only here to earn my rice bowl, the same as everyone else.
You’re there to make a living, not to make friends, even though a friend from a workplace would be a bonus. But do not be too trusting; not everyone is your friend just because they interact with you.”
A third shared, “From my personal point of view, I [actually] prefer working with people who avoid small talk or [come across as] cold. Why? Because those who make small talk or appear friendly at first often end up asking for personal requests, like asking you to lend money or getting you to do their unfinished work because he/she cannot complete it. Then, slowly, you’ll end up doing their backlog too.
Just treat your workplace as a place where you go, get your salary, and call it a day. Don’t think too much because typically when you get too close with your colleagues, problems will arise.”
In other news, a Singaporean man recently took to a popular online forum to express his disappointment over his wife’s financial contributions.
In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, he shared that although his wife earns slightly more than he does, due to her high bonuses, he still ends up covering the bulk of their household expenses.
The man revealed that he is responsible for paying for most things at home, including groceries, utility bills, and the majority of their children’s enrichment classes.
Read more: Wife makes more but pays less: Disappointed husband questions fairness of household finances
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