SINGAPORE: A Singaporean housewife recently shared on social media that she’s struggling to end her marriage with her cheating husband because of their newborn baby.
“I just found out husband (35M) is cheating with prostitutes ever since I’m pregnant and even after I (31F) gave birth two months ago,” she wrote on r/askSingapore on Wednesday (Jul 17).
“I saw all his hidden messages and that he has been taking business loans (he owns a business) and spending thousands on top class prostitutes and even jokingly saying to the pimp that he doesn’t mind spending all his money on this one prostitute.”
Her husband had even arranged a trip abroad with one of the prostitutes, intending to leave her and their newborn baby at home. Initially, he deceived her, stating it was a business trip. However, this plan fell through because the other woman ended up being busy.
What hurt her even more was discovering that he tried to mess with their GPS tracking app.
“We have a tracking app for each other (incase of accidents on the road and he offered to download the app!!) and I found out he uses a spy app to change his GPS.”
Moreover, she mentioned that she never expected her husband to cheat on her because “he’s always been a great dad” who jumped in to help her with the baby stuff and took care of the house while she was recovering. They’ve also been together for a very long time, having spent 16 years as boyfriend-girlfriend before entering marriage.
“Right now I can’t think straight and just non stop crying and giving him the cold shoulder. He said he will make it right but I just don’t see it at all. Everytime I close my eyes, all those messages keep replaying in my head.”
“I’m heavily dependent on him and a full time housewife. I do think about divorcing but I don’t want to rob the opportunity of my child not having a father figure in his life. So my question is, would you rather your parents didn’t divorce or if they do divorce how’s life for you growing up?”
“It is way better to have two separate but happy parents.”
In the comments section, many urged her to break off her marriage with her husband, saying that it would be far worse for the child to witness his/her two parents being in an unhappy, unfaithful, and loveless marriage.
One netizen whose parents are divorced shared, “I’m glad my mum divorced actually because my dad is a coward. What’s the point of staying in an unhappy marriage so that the kid can “have a father figure”?
“The kid is not dumb, eventually he/she will know the parents are not in love and develop resentment. Don’t use the kid as an excuse for not getting a divorce, he/she didn’t ask for a childhood memory with parents that don’t love each other.”
Another netizen who grew up in a dysfunctional family also shared his two cents on the matter.
He wrote, “It is way better to have two separate but happy parents than a broken marriage parents who stay together ‘just’ for the child. So much work is required to unwire all the things that have been learned and observed by the child.”
A third netizen shared that her husband also cheated on her 12 years ago, and despite being a stay-at-home mom, she decided to get a divorce. Although the process was messy and lengthy, she said it was worth it.
She and her ex-husband co-parented their child, who was 2 years old at the time. Today, her son is 14, happy, well-adjusted, and doing very well in school. He talks to his dad regularly and visits him for Christmas.
“My son assures me he is happy and since he grew up with this arrangement, he does not miss having a father figure much,” she added.
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