SINGAPORE: A 40-year-old man took to social media to rant about his abusive mother who left the family when he was a child, only to come back to extort money from his father.
In his lengthy post, the man blamed his mother for his father’s untimely death. He wrote that he was an only child and his parents had him in their early 40s. His mother was always verbally and physically abusive and she left to go overseas when he was a child, only to come back when he was in his 20s. While his mother was overseas for more than 10 years, the man wrote that his mother never offered any financial support to him or his father. Instead, she would demand a lot of money from his father, only to spend it on her boyfriends.
The man wrote that he had to start working full-time when he was 21-years-old and thus did not get to graduate. In his mid-20s, he even had to go overseas to support his parents as his father retired and finances were tight. The man wrote that his father passed away about 10 years ago because of his mother’s actions. At present, the man said that his mother played the role of the victim telling everyone they know that he “abandoned her and never spoke or visit or send support especially since my Dad passing which is untrue. Relatives/Friends/Acquaintances would always confront me and scold me on how I “abandoned” my mother. I would show evidences such as bank remittances, pictures, call logs and etc. which will make people quiet down their anger but never apologize to me on how they treated me based on my mother’s false narratives. It’s tiring on my part to explain and defend myself against my own mother’s lies”.
In his post, he wrote that his mother even demands that he apply for credit cards for her despite his salary not meeting the minimum requirement. The man even revealed that his mother had boyfriends for whom she would spend the money he gave her on. He felt that he could not even get married as his mother would ruin his marriage and his relationship with his in-laws and try and extort money from them.
He added that he was depressed and felt his mother just bore him as her ‘retirement plan’ to secure funds from his father. “I feel so drained in all aspects and having the need to deal with Mom’s demands, drama, verbal abuse and antics. As the only child, I have made life insurance arrangements so if anything happens to me, my mother will have well enough funds to live off for her remaining years but she is unaware of these life insurances as I very much fear for my life. I’m already in my 40s, I do my best to do my duties and obligations as an only child but I pray to be free of her”, the man wrote.
He added that his heart was heavy and asked netizens for advice on how to deal with his abusive, toxic and selfish mother.
Here’s what netizens said:
Earlier this year, a woman’s daughter took to social media because she found that her mother favoured her elder sister by giving her more money each month.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the younger daughter wrote that she started out with humble beginnings where at “the age of 15, parents divorced and I had to start working part time after my O levels. I supported myself thru part time job, juggled between PT and poly school days, paid for my own daily expenses, school fees and etc”.
She added that after she got married and had her own child at age 26, she would spend lesser money on her own mother. However, she wrote that “Somehow as we age, my mum has expectations on this. For CNY, she expects gifts, money to buy CNY goodies, money to bao angbao”.
“My elder sister recently got married and my new brother-in-law shows no respect for our family at all. BUT, since his family is rich and he often gives my mother money (probably $50 or $100 each time they meet, erm 2-3 times a week), my mother grew to like him despite him being disrespectful to our family”, the woman wrote. She added that she felt that because she could not give her mother the same amount of money, she was cast aside as being unfilial. “Every month I give her $300 allowance and she is still asking for more”, the woman wrote.
“when my husband and I bought her “snacks” like the old days, she doesn’t appreciates anymore. She will find it as “cheap food”. She prefers to eat atas food where she can take photo upload on Facebook to show off to her friends. CNY we bought her goodies, she doesn’t even take a glance at it”, the added. While her husband advised her to not pay much attention to it because her mother only valued monetary compensation, the woman wrote that she was deeply affected by it.