SINGAPORE: A man took to Reddit to crowdsource advice because, despite success at an early age, he feels depressed and empty inside.
In a Jan 29 post on r/askSingapore, u/MathematicianOk9216 wrote that he was told all his life that he needed to work hard to graduate from university, get a good job, and find a steady partner.
At the age of 26, he has all this in his life, including a good salary and close friends he enjoys spending time with. Moreover, the woman he has a relationship with is someone he hopes to marry one day.
However, he feels empty inside, sensing that he is spending the best years of his life on activities that don’t matter to him. He’s aware, however, that the cost of living is very high, and since he wants to get married and have children, these costs will only get higher.
Nevertheless, he’s plagued with existential questions. “But is this really all there is to life? Work hard invest and retire and enjoy my life in my 50s and 60s?” he asked.
He has enough self-awareness, however, to know how “incredibly privileged” he is to be in this position and acknowledges how fortunate he’s been.
Still, he asked Reddit users for advice with dealing with how he feels. He senses he’s been living up to standards that others, including his parents and friends, have set for him. He added that these questions keep him up at night, “struggling to cope with the realization” that this is going to be his life.
Many people have answered his questions. Far and away, this response has received the most upvotes: “Because you achieved Singaporean success, not your success.”
Others reassured him that he’s not the only person in Singapore who has struggled with “existential despair”.
One Reddit user told the post author that it’s not unusual to feel empty after achieving a goal once the adrenaline fades. After a challenge is met, some people can feel stuck in a “now what” phase. The post author was urged to find new goals and challenges for himself, ones that he can invest meaning in.
Others advised him in the same vein, saying he could take some time to find other interests and passions.
“It’s time for you to ask yourself the big questions. Who are you, and what do you want?” one wrote. /TISG