SINGAPORE: An 18-year-old girl took to social media to reveal that her overbearing mother has demanded that she show her monthly bank account balance.
“My mother screamed at me… about how ungrateful I was… and that I’d “promised” to show her my bank account balance once a month but didn’t deliver… (I didn’t promise, she demanded to see it and I went “Can’t I not?” and she said “No!” and walked away.),” the girl wrote on r/askSingapore on Sunday (Feb 18).
The girl shared that her mother started demanding to see the monthly updates after she made a rash decision a year ago and spent S$400+ on a game.
She argued, however, that it was her own money, explaining, “I earned about $3K from a three month part-time gig after O’s and never asked them for a cent. I don’t understand why they’re so (angry) about this when I didn’t touch their money at all.”
She then asked on the online forum if there was anything she could do or say to persuade her mother to stop, as her overbearing behaviour would only harm her finances and maturity in the long run.
“I’ll end up believing that she’ll do everything for me. I don’t want that, I want full independence from her. Please share some advice on diffusing this situation, or anything I can do to stop her from trying to pry. I’m really at my wit’s end and about to lose all my patience and scream at her,” the woman said.
“You can always keep two bank accounts and just show her one of them continuously”
Singaporean Redditors responded in the comments section with suggestions on how to deal with her mother’s actions.
One Redditor said, “You can always keep two bank accounts and just show her one of them continuously. But there’s a line to be drawn after you become older. Because you are spending the money you earn, and rightfully at the age that deserve privacy.”
Another Redditor commented, “Unfortunately if you want full independence from her, you need to shift out and not live on their finances including school fees. If that is not possible now, make it a goal on how you can achieve it.”
Some Redditors, however, were not as sympathetic to the girl.
One Redditor told her, “Idk why nowadays these young punks think they turn 18YO magically they are some super rock star, “wings harden”and don’t have to listen to a word their parents say anymore.
You claim you wanted “full independence” from your parents. Do you even know what you are saying? How much are you earning every month right now? Don’t even talk about paying your own rent for a flat, do you even pay for your own dinner?
Do you pay your own internet/phone/electricity bills yet? No? Don’t come and talk a big game, you are just like another other kid.”
Another Redditor also pointed out that her mother’s anxiety about her spending habits was not “unfounded” since she admitted to herself that spending so much on a game was a rash decision.
The Redditor then suggested, “Perhaps to ease her worry, you can demonstrate to her that you have your finances in check by a few appropriate investments? Seeing your bank account grows steadily will prove to them you are independent enough to make your decisions.
I believe after sometime, they will mind your finances lesser and less. If that is the independence you are talking about. But being independent is much more than that. Its about owning mistakes and taking responsibilities on your own without shifting the blame/relying on others.”
In related news, a university student also shared on social media earlier this year that she has been ‘financially stressed’ because her parents always overreact to her purchases.
“It’s like a pain to them whenever I treat myself to nice stuff because they will scold me until like dog!” she exclaimed.
Featured image by Depositphotos