SINGAPORE: A young Singaporean recently took to social media to share something his parents said to him after he didn’t get into any junior colleges a year ago. They told him, “You will have no future, and you won’t be able to support us after all that we have done for you.”
In a post shared on Reddit’s ‘SG exams’ forum on Wednesday (Dec 25), the young man opened up about how his parents also accused him of putting absolutely no effort into his studies. “I really did study maybe my IQ was not up to their standards,” he lamented.
The emotional toll of this incident didn’t stop there. His parents, in an attempt to punish him for what they saw as failure, ignored him for two weeks, made him work part-time, and severely restricted his time at home, only allowing him to be there between 8 AM and 9 PM.
“That was nothing because my dad once did not talk to me for like a year straight. ‘Im being so serious right now and writing this makes me reflect back on how crazy of a situation I was living in,” he said.
“That same month, my dad told me that he will kick me out once I graduate poly if I dont get into NTU or NUS. He also threatened my mom that he will leave her if she try to help me in any way,” he added.
The young man confessed that all of this pushed him into a dark place, and he’s now scared that he won’t be able to make it into NTU because his GPA is around 3.5.
“I don’t know, I never thought that this kind of thing would happen to me,” he wrote. “I would appreciate any advice on getting kicked out. Merry christmas everyone.”
“There is a big fat line between instilling discipline and straight up abuse.”
His post struck a chord with many on the forum, sparking a thoughtful discussion about the overwhelming pressure that parents often place on their children.
One user, a father himself, shared his perspective. He said, “I don’t understand this concept of raising children so they can take care of you when you are older. As a father I wouldn’t want to burden my daughter in any way.
There is a big fat line between instilling discipline and straight up abuse. Just focus on your studies now and try not to let these what ifs get into your head. We are all rooting for you.”
Another added, “You should never be measured by your academic abilities. I’m really sorry they are treating you that way. If you get kicked out. Please try to crash at friends place. I had a friend who rented a one room at 18. She was literally a super woman HAHA.”
Others, however, assured the young man that his academic achievements, or lack thereof, won’t necessarily shape his future.
They reminded him that success isn’t solely determined by grades and that there are many other paths to achieve it, apart from the ones his parents had mapped out for him.
Some also advised him to start saving up, whether or not he gets into NTU or NUS, to get away from the toxic household.
One user commented, “It’s not about what you need to do to avoid being kicked out. But to prepare to be independent by 21 whether or not you make it to uni because your parents (your dad at least) sounds really unstable.
The aim is to be able to afford to rent a room (maybe split with a roommate) for 6 months upon graduation. By the time you earn your diploma, you will have plenty of job prospects. Even a part time at 20/hr will keep you going for a while.”
In other news, a Singaporean shared on Reddit that he felt completely defeated after his father backed out of financially supporting his university education.
“I was pressured to go to uni, my only option was private so I applied and got an offer. At first my father told me not to worry too much and just accept, he would handle the finances,” he explained.
“We took out a study loan after that, the agreement with my father was that he would pay during my schooling days and once I graduate, the rest would be on me.”
However, just as he was starting to make peace with the situation, his father unexpectedly backed out of their agreement.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)