SINGAPORE: After learning that more and more children are speaking out against their parents’ unreasonable demands, one woman felt compelled to share her own experience.
In her post on NUSWhispers Facebook page, she recounted how her mum persistently demanded a monthly allowance, even during her unemployment.
“She insisted that I continue to give her monthly allowance even though I’m jobless. She quoted: “It’s a principle thing” + “Where got you take up a loan, you can skip paying for x months?”
Someone suggested to return her the monthly allowances in instalments after I found a new job,” the woman wrote.
“FYI, I don’t owe her any $$$. But this don’t makes any sense to me no matter how hard I try to rationalize. Also, she’s a housewife, my father gives her more than enough.”
Additionally, she recalled other instances where her mum behaved irrationally, such as asking about her pay right after she got her first job and proceeding to calculate the market rate upon not receiving an answer.
Her mum also regularly compared her to other children, stating they give their mothers as much as 40-50% of their salary.
“She even asked, so when will you get promoted? (So that they will increase your pay).”
She then explained that she could only allocate a certain amount to her because she was saving for future expenses such as housing, renovations, furniture, children, and her own personal needs and desires.
However, her mum reacted negatively to this and said, “So fast think of house already?”
“I mean you don’t have to be at a certain age to think of the future expenses. What more, Singapore. Reality.”
Although she still lived with her parents, she emphasized that she has been self-sufficient in terms of her needs and wants since she was 17 and didn’t receive any allowances during her polytechnic and university years while her siblings did.
In conclusion, she expressed frustration about the societal expectation for children to prioritize their mother’s demands simply because “it’s their mother, she went through hardships to give birth to you,” a sentiment she believed should not be normalized.
“I deserved to be respected and treated as a human not a ….. 🙂 Sigh, I’m tired really. I’m not giving her anything more than I can handle. I’m not giving in anymore. What’s supposed to feel like a safe haven to me, no longer is.”
“Sorry you had to go through that, I grew up with such mum too”
A few people also opened up about their circumstances in the comments section.
One individual said, “Sorry you had to go through that, I grew up with such mum too. While I couldn’t change her mindset or the fact that she’s my mum, I vowed to not set the same expectations towards my kids in the future.”
While another commented, “I went through the same thing as you. Jobless still must give her allowance. Pay drop still must give same amount. Divorce also still need to give.
They are just money face.. and never satisfy, just want more and more only.”
Meanwhile, others gave the woman advice on dealing with her mother’s behaviour.
One individual suggested that the woman consider moving out of her mother’s house to regain peace of mind and live on her own terms.
Another individual took a more interpersonal approach, recommending that the woman communicate directly with her mother about her concerns and grievances instead of venting online.
However, a few argued that “having a conversation” with her mother probably won’t work. One individual said, “This kind of mother won’t change. There is no point talking because her kids are her retirement plan. Her money tree.”
Some also suggested that she comply with her mother’s demands and see the allowance as a form of “rental payment,” given that she was still living under her parents’ roof.
One individual added, “You live under her roof, unfortunately you’ll be subjected to emotional abuse and just got to take it.”
In similar news, a man earning S$4,000 also took to social media last week to share that his mum got disappointed after telling her he’d only give her 10% of his allowance.
Read more: Man earning S$4K offers his mum 10% of his salary, but mum is unhappy, says, “10% only ah”
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