SINGAPORE: A married woman who had a three-year-old daughter took to social media asking if she should leave her abusive husband for another married man she had fallen for.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that she had fallen in love with a married man who had his own 10-year-old daughter. She added that the man was still living with his wife but they had stayed in separate rooms for over 10 years. “They don’t even talk now, basically 0 interaction. The reason they are still holding on is their child. We are in r/s for almost 1year now, while I’m planning on divorce with my partner. For him, he said he will stay on until the child finish PSLE in 2yrs to minimise the impact on her”, the woman wrote.
She explained that her boyfriend’s wife was dating someone else long before they met. “She’s not working but supported by the husband since they are married. Unlimited spending on ccard, monthly allowance and shopping spree. While he’s not well to do, he tried to support her spending even until his saving dried up. She takes care of the daughter during weekday, cooks dinner for her but did not cook for the husband”, she wrote.
Talking about her own relationship, the woman said that she had been with her husband for more than 14 years. He previously abused her, and was even violent on a few incidents. She added that since she moved out of the house to live on her own, he seems to have changed.
However, the woman expressed that she had doubts about both men and their intentions. She said that she lost her love for her husband but said that he had become a caring father and husband. She wondered if he would go back to his old ways if she returned to the relationship. With regards to her boyfriend, she said that because he was 10 years older than her, their relationship was a matured one. Because of this, she wondered if he was “just looking for someone to be at his side to take care of his child once he’s divorced, and not really because he loves me”.
“However, my bf has no interest about my daughter at all. This makes me hesitated. When we’re discussing about future, my daughter was never mentioned. Am I considered a homewrecker? they already have their issue before I’m in the picture, but I still feel the guilt everytime I see their daughter. I also feel sorry towards my own daughter for leaving her. Im in such a mess. A failure in life. What should I do?” the woman asked netizens.
Here’s what they said:
Earlier this week, another woman who wanted “Advice on dealing with a sensitive husband” took to social media asking whether she should leave him for the sake of their child.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that her husband liked to be the best and was sensitive to criticism be it direct or implied. “He will strike me physically if he feels that I am criticising him. He has done so already, at least once every one to two months. I continue to stay with him because I have no family and afraid of being alone”.
“Our baby is cries a lot these days. We try to soothe him by 8 pm so that bb can sleep. My husband wishes to play with bb around 7:30 pm so I pass bb to my husband. He aggressively bounces bb or have bb lie down on his lap. Bb is frequently unhappy and cries. I have to spend time soothing the bb and eventually bb settles. My husband is mad at me. Calls the baby names and scolds me for not letting him play with the baby”, the woman added, explaining that if she asks her husband to stop calling their child names, he gets angry with her.
She wrote in her post that she was worried her husband would not be mature enough to parent their child responsibly and added that she feared for her child’s safety.
“If we separate now, he might still receive joint custody – not an option atm. Any advice welcome. Is this a totally irreparable relationship?” she wrote.