SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to ask if it’s still common for Singaporean men to send their girlfriends home.
In her post on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, she mentioned that her mum often told her to find a guy who would send her home after a date, believing it’s a sign that the man treasures her and wants to spend as much time with her as possible.
However, the woman shared her doubts about this perspective. She explained that while it might have been true in the past, she feels things have changed over time.
“I’m not sure about this anymore,” she wrote. “It may have been true back then, but now I think things are different. People change, times change, and the world changes. So is it really true that sending a girl home means the guy truly likes her and loves her enough to go all that way?”
“If a girlfriend expects the boyfriend to send her home every time, it just shows absolutely zero consideration for her boyfriend.”
In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Redditors pointed out that while the idea of boyfriends sending their girlfriends home might seem like a thoughtful and chivalrous gesture, there are a lot of factors that can make it more complicated.
Some explained that if the boyfriend is really tired, especially after a long day or an evening out, he might not have the energy or motivation to send his girlfriend home, even if he cares about her.
One netizen put it bluntly, saying, “If a girlfriend expects the boyfriend to send her home every time, it just shows absolutely zero consideration for her boyfriend. It’s like saying ‘hey make me feel good by walking me home but I really don’t care how tired you are’.”
Others mentioned the practical aspect, like how far apart they live. If the boyfriend’s home is in a completely different area or if the trip would be a long one, it might not be realistic or fair to expect him to travel that far just to drop her off.
One netizen shared, “My male friends (not boyfriends) used to send me home provided they stay a few stops away from me.
“Boyfriends as well… have to be practical sometimes. Like if he stays pasir ris and you jurong, cannot expect that to happen every time you go out.”
A few Redditors also mentioned that it all comes down to how the couple communicates. If they’re both okay with making plans around logistics, like meeting halfway or finding other ways to ensure one of them gets home safely, that could work just as well.
One netizen commented, “My wife was a bit more practical: her parents stayed somewhere not so easily accessible. She’ll ask me to ride with her to the nearest MRT, she’ll take the bus home herself, and she’ll text me when she gets through the door.”
Additionally, some Redditors pointed out that the intention behind sending someone home, as well as the broader context of the relationship, should be considered.
For example, if the boyfriend sends his girlfriend home because he genuinely wants to be sweet and spend more time together, it’s seen as a kind and thoughtful gesture.
But if both partners are busy professionals and the boyfriend can’t always send his girlfriend home, yet they still make an effort to meet up when they can, it shows that they respect each other’s schedules and still care enough to make time for each other.
On the other hand, if someone only sends their partner home out of obligation or just to “tick a box” and complains about it the whole time, it takes away from the meaning of the gesture. It’s no longer a caring act.
In other news, a woman shared her frustrations on social media, revealing that she feels hurt and uncertain because the man she’s been dating exclusively for six months has yet to make their relationship official and remains in contact with other women.
In a lengthy post on Reddit’s “Ask Singapore” forum, she explained that while they’ve been seeing each other for half a year and have even met each other’s families, he hasn’t fully committed yet.
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