SINGAPORE: Talk about pressure! A young Singaporean confessed on social media that her parents have warned they’ll “disown her” if she doesn’t secure a spot at a top overseas university.
In a heartfelt post on the subreddit r/SGExams, the student explained that her parents, who are Singaporean-Chinese and have studied abroad themselves, are “obsessed with prestige” and have drawn a hard line when it comes to university choices.
“Going to NUS/NTU/SMU isn’t an option for my parents. They’ve told me that anything short of Oxford or Cambridge, or at least a top 20 university in the USA, isn’t acceptable,” she said.
She also revealed that her parents have issued several ultimatums. If she chooses to remain in Singapore for her tertiary education, they have told her she would no longer be welcome in the family home, would be cut off from any family assets, would not receive any form of monetary support (including her university tuition fees), would be left alone in one of the investment condos they own, and would only be acknowledged on “special occasions.”
Although she believes she might have a chance at being accepted into an overseas university, she admitted that she found her parents’ demands unreasonable, especially since NUS, NTU, and SMU are all highly regarded institutions.
“They’re acting like NUS/NTU/SMU aren’t good schools?? I honestly think I’d be happier within Singapore too, as I’ve visited some of the top 20 US campuses, and they didn’t really appeal to me,” she argued in her post. “Of course, it’s possible they’re just saying this, so I’m ‘motivated’ to go overseas, but I somewhat suspect they’re doing this just so they can say they have two kids overseas (I have an older sister currently overseas.)”
She also mentioned that she has already tried talking to her parents about this, but unfortunately, they’re determined to send her abroad.
“I don’t know if I should just go overseas to go along with what they want, or if I should choose to stay local (assuming I get accepted, of course),” she continued. “I honestly don’t know if they’ll go ahead with their threats, but it’s a lot of unnecessary pressure, and it’s been weighing on me a lot.”
“Going to an overseas uni has massive advantages in the job market.”
In the comments section, one Reddit user shared that she has also experienced this kind of pressure from her own parents but not to the extent that they would disown her.
She added, “I feel like your parents are a bit more petty (very petty). NUS, NTU, and SMU are all good universities, so I don’t know what your parents are saying because I feel like their reasoning is quite questionable and not based on facts, but rather motivated by ego.”
Another user stated, “You are still a teen, 18 and below—they can’t disown you legally.”
Others, meanwhile, chimed in to offer the young woman some words of comfort and advice. One user reassured her that attending an overseas university can actually be less stressful than studying in Singapore.
He wrote, “I’m in an overseas uni trust me, it’s actually quite chill and good. If you qualify for the top unis just go for it, it’ll be a good opportunity, and you’ll love it, but unless you really really don’t want to go overseas, just rent out your condo and get roommates. You can get easy $$ already.”
Another pointed out there’s an upside to her parents’ demands, writing, “Going to an overseas uni has massive advantages in the job market, especially if you are going to Oxbridge.”
A third user suggested she have another conversation with her parents, saying, “If you do love your parents and care for them, I would first advise you to talk it out at the dinner table or something where everyone is calm and hopefully negotiate or sort it out.”
In other news, a Singaporean employee took to social media to share that his employer is attempting to deduct his salary over claims of lateness without providing any proper proof.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum on Wednesday (Apr 30), he explained that he is currently employed in a full-time role where there is no formal time-tracking system in place—no timesheets, fingerprint scanners, or clock-in/clock-out procedures.
Despite this, the employer allegedly accused him of being “late every day” and is now refusing to pay over S$100 in outstanding reimbursements, claiming that the amount will instead be deducted as a “lateness” penalty.
Read more: Employee claims boss wants to deduct his salary over lateness without proof or proper records
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