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NS man breaks up with his older girlfriend because of their difference in love languages

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SINGAPORE: A man who was dating a woman older than him ended up breaking up with her because he felt there was a big difference in the ways they showed love.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man said that he was serving his National Service whereas she was working a flexible job. “We do love each other still, I do love her, i really do. But we always argue on how often I am spending time with her. I am pretty busy: with my own bills i need to pay, and I am someone who enjoys personal time, serving the country wtv,. To her, spending time = i love you, (quality time lover) but for me as long as she reassures me and makes me feel secure = i love you. (Words of affirmation)”, he wrote.

He added that she stayed in the East of Singapore while he stayed in the West and over time added that it took a toll on the relationship. He wrote that he eventually broke up with her despite still loving her. “My reason was being that we don’t perceive love the way we want it to be, i could be reassuring her and giving her words of affirmation but its not as well received as she just wants to spend time, something i don’t have at this point in my life”, he wrote, adding that him having to go to University soon also became a hurdle between them.

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“I feel like Im doing the right thing by letting her go, and I didnt cut her off immediately, I am still talking to her and try to rationalise why I broke up with her , she still don’t seem to get why… and im trying to help her, or at least i think i am. I don’t want to cut her off because i do still care and love her, and I want her to take this break up easier, if that makes sense, where i can just be her support if needed”, he wrote.

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However, he added that he was still unsure if the contact with him was something that helped her. He said he did not want to give the woman false hope and wrote that he did not know how to handle the situation.

Here’s what netizens who commented on the post said:

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