SINGAPORE: A curious Reddit user asked if it’s common for men in Singapore to show emotional vulnerability, wondering if “it’s a stereotype that Asian men are more closed off, or if times have changed.”
u/redryder74 added on r/AskSingapore on Tuesday (Apr 25) that she wasn’t referring to “expressions of love, but whether your partners share their fears and worries, deepest confessions, etc.
Or do they always put on a brave front and try to look strong?”
The post author asked if women desire this trait in a relationship or are satisfied with the status quo if their partners are cut off emotionally, asking commenters to indicate their age range so she can see if the situation is different with younger people.
Surprisingly, the commenters who answered her post were overwhelmingly male.
A man in his 30s who has lived in Singapore and the UK wrote, “I can say that men in general here in Singapore lacks emotional vulnerability — not because they don’t want to express them but society has build walls that prevent men from tearing it down. Such as the army, cry equals weak, men being ‘stronger’ etc.”
Whereas in the UK, he added, men are “much more receptive to emotions.”
He added, however, that as for women in Singapore, “I do find that most girls despite claiming to want a vulnerable boyfriend — feels like they’re a turn off after they have expressed themselves.”
Another Reddit user chimed in, “When it is Singaporean guys of the younger generation, if they are emotionally constipated, it manifests more like isolation and escapism, from what I have seen, rather than aggressiveness. Still not ideal of course, but it is better than being angry or even violent, which is the stereotype of emotionally repressed men in some other countries.”
“As a guy, when I open up, sometimes I get criticized for how weak I am. Mostly is guy telling another guy, usually girls are ok and more understanding but also depends on the person,” wrote another.
One 30-year-old man said that his attempts at vulnerability had not been received well by his partner.
“30M. Was in a relationship with 31F. Would share how I feel only to be shut down or be greeted by logic with little room for empathy. Tone was off as well.”
A woman, 25, answered the question this way: “I think ultimately it depends on whether they feel safe, comfortable and unjudged by the person before they tell, also probably looking to hear more encouragement then ‘shag bro…’”
/TISG