SINGAPORE: Concerned about her parents’ health, a woman took to social media to ask for advice on how to stop her parents from constantly smoking and eating unhealthy foods.
In her post on r/askSingapore, she explained: “Both my parents are heavy smokers who need to smoke every 1-2 hours and my dad had stroke before. I don’t want the same thing to happen to my mum.
Mum is very reluctant to change her lifestyle, continuing to eat oily food and take sugary drink (like coke and she is angry with me for ordering coke zero for her as she said she can taste the difference).”
She also mentioned that she had arranged a health checkup for both of them, and her dad agreed to go due to his previous stroke.
However, her mum, who is quite stubborn, did not attend the appointment despite being asked beforehand if she was available on that particular day.
“I’m not sure if I’m too forceful and I should just respect her choice? I always have this worry that one day one of them might just collapse on the street because of all those conditions.
Mum is very obese like 70 kg, so I especially worried for her. For dad, I can still easily persuade him to go swimming with me and his fitness still good.”
“Some people would rather not know than know their health status”
In the comments section, Singaporean Redditors explained that perhaps her mum did not attend the appointment because she was afraid to know the current status of her health.
One Redditor said, “Some people would rather not know than know their health status. This is generally the feeling of older generations. They are afraid to be diagnosed with certain illnesses if they go for medical checkups.
Their mentality is that if they don’t know, then they will be less worried.”
Some also mentioned that it’s possible her parents already knew that age was catching up with them and that their health was declining. And this realization could be why her parents feel unmotivated to go for checkups or make lifestyle changes.
One Redditor added, “Even if they get to a health check up and the doctor prescribed meds and ask them to change their lifestyle, unless they recognise the need to change, many of such people also just skip their meds.
In the end it’s just a waste of time effort and money. If seeing your dad having a stroke doesn’t strike any fear or concern to change in your mum, I don’t think much of anything will.
The worst case scenario for everyone is if they do have a stroke or heart attack but don’t die and end up with inability to perform daily activities.
This means caregiver cost. May want to research a bit about what the family can afford and start saving. Good to also check out care shield life to see if that might be a worthwhile insurance.”
However, despite recognizing that it might be hard for her parents to kick the decades-old unhealthy habits, a few still suggested that having an open and heartfelt conversation could still be worth a try.
They believed that sharing her concerns might make a difference.
They also added that if her parents refused to change their ways or get a checkup, she could monitor their vital signs herself.
One Redditor wrote, “Blood pressure, heart rate, pulse oxygen, respiratory rate and temperature regularly to keep track of the emerging trends. These are the signs for deterioration.”
Read also: My parents have cancer. How do I cope with my feelings of guilt and worry?