SINGAPORE: Yet another Singaporean, sadly part of the Sandwich Generation, is grappling with financial difficulties as he allocates S$1,500 a month to support his parents while simultaneously preparing for his upcoming BTO flat.
According to a post shared by his friend on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, he has been forced to step up and contribute financially every month as his parents are struggling. His father has been out of work since he was diagnosed with depression in the ’90s.
On the other hand, his mother has low qualifications and earns low pay.
Although she’s juggling two jobs at the moment, the money she brings in is unfortunately not enough to keep the household running, especially since a large part of her salary goes towards the ‘cigarettes, food, and beers’ that her husband buys, which amounts to S$60-80 every day.
The son has tried to persuade his father to cut back on these expenses, hoping to redirect some of that money towards more essential needs, but his efforts have been in vain.
Instead of being receptive, his father reacts with tantrums and even spirals into self-harm whenever the topic comes up.
“As a result, he has been forced to contribute about S$1,500 monthly for household maintenance and with his marriage + BTO affairs coming up, he is moonlighting as a grab rider after work to make ends meet,” his friend wrote about the dire situation the man was in.
Concerned, his friend asked the community, “How would you advise him in this situation? Is there any grant or assistance that he can seek? I recommended ghosting his parents since they never contributed much to his childhood, but he worries they’ll sue.”
“The son should be firm to put a stop to footing any form of bills that come from self-harm.”
In the comments section, a social worker weighed in, suggesting that ghosting his parents isn’t a great idea, especially since his mother is balancing two jobs to support the family and care for her husband, who is struggling with depression.
She asked, “Is he still staying with parents? If not, I recommend he ‘moves’ out, ie have a different NRIC address. So that his mother can seek financial support from SSO or the Family Service Centre.
Since social service organisations go by household income, with their income inside, it is unlikely that they will qualify for financial aid.
Secondly, being in the sector for so many years, I seldom hear of parents suing their adult children under the Maintenance Act. Probably because these parents are usually lowly educated.”
Another individual said, “To sue, one must have money leh. Hiring a pro bono lawyer requires effort, going through the process, and asking for help.
Your friend’s parents sound like they have neither. So I wouldn’t be too afraid of that lol. If your friend is worried, just giro a token sum, maybe 10% of his income, to his parents every month and call it a day.”
Others in the discussion also echoed similar sentiments, urging his friend to only give enough to help his parents survive. The consensus was that if he continued to support his father’s current lifestyle, he might end up stuck in this cycle of financial strain indefinitely.
One individual explained, “There is a limit; if the father is using self-harm and tantrums as emotional blackmailing, as the son, I would leave it. The son should be firm in putting a stop to footing any form of bills that come from self-harm, etc, if it continues. This is for his own future.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)