SINGAPORE: A 35-year-old Singaporean mum of two felt completely defeated after being made redundant in September 2023 and failing to secure another role, despite making it to the final rounds of multiple job interviews.
In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, the woman, who previously worked in tech sales, shared that she has “applied to countless roles” and gone through “second, third, or even final interviews”—only” to be rejected at the last stage each time.
Adding to her emotional strain, her husband, who is also in tech, was recently made redundant too, although he was immediately “rehired internally in another department.”
She also mentioned that while they are currently financially stable, her husband is likely to require a kidney transplant due to an autoimmune condition, which may result in her becoming the family’s sole breadwinner.
“I’m happy to be just that (a breadwinner),” she wrote, “Only that I need a job for that to happen.”
The woman added the prolonged job search has taken a toll on her mental health, explaining, “Honestly, my mind has been to some dark places, and I have started to realise that I am worth more dead than alive (thanks to my insurance policies),” she said.
“I can’t do this anymore. I know my kids will never forgive me, but I’m just a burden at this point, and even my organs will benefit someone else and their families. The only people I’ll disappoint are my husband and kids. My parents died when I was young.”
She concluded her post with a call for solidarity and connection: “If you’re in Singapore and struggling to gain employment, I’d love to hear from you. How long have you been jobless and how close are you to losing it?”
“You are worth more than your insurance policy money.”
In the comments section, many users offered words of encouragement and advice in an effort to lift the woman’s spirits.
One user wrote, “I can’t imagine how awful you feel right now, but if you see the comments here, we are all cheering for you!! I just want to share a perspective with you. My dad was jobless for more than two years after the 2008 financial crisis.
“And you know what? Never once did I think my dad was a burden. NOT ONCE. So please. Don’t give up! Keep trying. Try for your kids, because your kids are also cheering you on.”
Another commented, “You are worth more than your insurance policy money. No amount of money can substitute a mother’s warm embrace or a father’s word of encouragement. I know it seems so dire and bleak now, but the clouds WILL clear.”
A few users also stressed the importance of looking after her mental health and encouraged her to seek professional help.
One user said, “Hi there, Internet stranger. I just want you to know that you are not a burden. You matter deeply, especially to your children and husband, and your worth is more than a dollar value.
Please speak to someone because you don’t have to carry this alone. Things can change but only if you’re still around to try.”
Another added, “Ask for help. There are more mental health services around your neighborhood. Consult and see how you can move forward.”
Others, in turn, shared practical advice to support the woman in her job search. Some recommended tailoring her resume to emphasize specific skills for each job application, while others suggested focusing on upskilling through relevant online courses or certifications to remain competitive in the job market.
One user advised, “Sign up for short online courses or use your SkillsFuture credits to sign up for face-to-face courses. Learning can help to boost up your confidence and might provide you with an extra edge in your next interview. If you attend face-to-face courses, make use of the opportunity to network and make new contacts.”
Where to seek help
If you or someone you know is going through a difficult time, several suicide hotlines are available to offer immediate support. These calls are free, and you’ll be connected with trained professionals or volunteers who can help you navigate through the crisis.
In Singapore, you can reach out to the following resources: Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) at 1800 221 4444, the Mental Health Helpline at 6389 2222, and the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) Helpline at 1800 283 7019, or if you have a case manager at IMH, you can contact them directly through the IMH operator at 6389 2000. Remember, you are never alone, and help is just a phone call away.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)