‘I’m scared of saying something stupid’: Man returns to work after 2 years of living as a homebody

SINGAPORE: After spending almost two years away from the workforce and living what he described as a “semi-hikikomori lifestyle,” one Singaporean is now facing a rather daunting challenge: getting used to people again.

The man recently turned to Reddit for advice on how to “rebuild his social skills” after landing a full-time corporate job.

While getting back into employment might ordinarily be cause for celebration, he admitted that the prospect of returning to an office and interacting with colleagues every day has left him feeling rather nervous.

For the past two years, he said, his world had become increasingly small. He rarely left his home unless he had something essential to do, and had grown so comfortable with being alone that the idea of spending most of his day around other people now feels somewhat overwhelming.

“I love being in my room and being alone so much that, if I had an unlimited supply of food delivered directly to my room, I could probably go days without stepping outside,” he wrote.

His lifestyle was not completely devoid of human interaction though, he added. He did food delivery around two to three times a week, met his friends roughly once a week for sports, and saw his girlfriend about once a week.

Still, much of his remaining time was spent at home, scrolling mindlessly or playing games.

‘I’m scared’

Now, with a new job on the horizon, the man is worried that his long period of isolation has taken a toll on his ability to socialise.

“I can put on a decent professional persona when I need to, though it takes a lot of effort for me. I feel like my actual social and communication skills have deteriorated quite a lot. I struggle to collect my thoughts and string sentences.”

“I’m scared of saying something stupid, missing social cues, not knowing how to respond to playful jokes, or coming across as awkward or disengaged.”

And, of course, there is the often-unspoken challenge of office politics.

“We all know that being able to read the room, build relationships, and navigate workplace dynamics can make your life so much easier. I’m worried that after being isolated for so long, I’ll be terrible at this.”

Hoping to hear from others who had found themselves in a similar position, he asked how they rebuilt their social confidence after taking a long break from work or becoming accustomed to life as a homebody.

“For anyone who has been in a similar situation? Whether you took a long break from work, became socially isolated, or just spent years being a homebody?” he asked.

“Any advice would be appreciated. I’m trying not to overthink it, but I’d rather be somewhat prepared.

‘Part of growing up is being ok with being misunderstood’

Relearning the rhythms of everyday workplace life can be a huge challenge for those who have been out of work for a long time.

To help the post author navigate this period, several Singaporean Redditors chimed in to offer him some advice.

The top comment read, “The one thing that has helped me is just being alright with failing. If you say the wrong thing—it’s ok! Life goes on. Part of growing up is being ok with being misunderstood. I have accepted that I am going to be misunderstood no matter what, and that has made things a little easier. It doesn’t make the fear go away but a little bit more manageable.”

Another suggested, “Join your neighbourhood Toastmasters club?”

A third said, “You don’t have to interact with people on a social aspect if you don’t want to or like to. Work is work. I am quite a homebody and introvert, and I don’t interact with my coworkers unless I need to. Took me some time to be comfortable with myself instead of putting on a certain persona.”

In other news, a Singaporean woman has sought advice online after finding herself increasingly uncomfortable with how she and her fiancé split their expenses, particularly as he now earns around three times as much as she does.

The couple, who have been together for six years, initially adopted a 50/50 approach when they were both students and had limited finances.

Read more: Singapore woman questions 50/50 expenses after fiancé’s income jumps to 3x hers