SINGAPORE: At her wits’ end, a woman took to social media to ask Singaporeans how she could set boundaries with a friend who has been repeatedly asking her to make online purchases on platforms like Shopee and Lazada on their behalf.
In a post on the r/askSingapore forum, she explained that she had initially agreed to help because her friend claimed they were “extremely wary of digital payment methods”, didn’t have access to services like PayNow or DBS PayLah, and didn’t even have a local bank account (which they supposedly could prove by showing their Singpass).
“At first, I didn’t mind helping once or twice, but over the last few weeks, they even set up a separate WhatsApp group just for these orders. Now they expect me to send them a screenshot of every item—size, colour, products—before and after ‘I buy,’ and they dump multiple bulk orders on me in one go,” she continued.
“I’m a pretty nice person, but this is starting to feel like I’m their unpaid/free personal shopper or purchasing secretary. If I may add on, I have to meet them at their convenient time and place too. I get that they’re worried about scams, but the proof via the Singpass claim seems fishy to me. Especially in this day and age, in Singapore, they don’t have any bank accounts at all, which I find incredibly hard to believe. They’re working full-time, apparently. Even 80-year-olds have bank accounts. Am I overreacting, or am I being taken advantage of?” she wrote.
Worried this might keep happening, she asked fellow Singaporeans, “How can I set a polite boundary but firmly tell them that I can’t keep doing this so often without sounding mean? What can I say? (In a nice, non-judgmental way.) Of course, without making things awkward. It’s getting really time-consuming and a bit exploitative.”
“Simply tell them you don’t want to help them.”
The post quickly gained traction on the platform, with many users sharing their thoughts and advice.
One user threw out the idea of charging a 10% service fee for every item her friend asks her to buy, adding, “If they think that it is unreasonable or a scam, you tell them your time spent on doing such things, especially where money is involved, isn’t worth your time anymore.
If you have a full-time job, calculate how much you make in an hour and charge them for it. I’m sure they eventually will stop. These people, you give them one inch, they take one yard.”
Another commented, “Are you a non-confrontational person? The obvious answer is to simply tell them you don’t want to help them. And you can phrase it however nicely you want.
“But it may be hard if you’re a non-confrontational person. In which case, you simply need to be as unhelpful as you can. Reply to messages late. Don’t send screenshots. Forget to place orders. Place wrong orders. At some point, they will realise they can’t get what they want by asking you and will stop.”
Additionally, some users said that they were doubtful about the friend’s claims, especially the part about not having a bank account. They pointed out that if the friend was indeed working full-time, it seemed incredibly hard to believe that they didn’t have a local bank account. After all, companies typically deposit salaries directly into bank accounts, so it didn’t make sense that someone with a job, especially a full-time one, wouldn’t have one.
One explained, “Are you sure you are not roped into money laundering? How is it possible for full-time employees in Singapore not to have bank accounts? No employers here will pay full-timers in cash. And it doesn’t even need to be a local bank. So many merchants don’t even accept cash now; how do they go around living in Singapore? Either your story is incomplete, or your friends are conning you big time.”
In other news, a Singaporean man has sparked a debate online after sharing that he doesn’t quite understand why people often complain that public housing is “unaffordable for low-income individuals.”
In a forum post that has since drawn widespread attention, he explained that, in his view, public housing is still relatively affordable, especially when compared to private properties.
“One thing I’ve always believed: shouldn’t we buy what we can afford? If someone’s income level only supports a two- or three-room flat, isn’t that the realistic option? I don’t quite understand when people say public housing is unaffordable, but at the same time aim for four-room flats or bigger, then turn around and blame the government when it’s out of reach,” he explained.
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