SINGAPORE: An employer shared on social media that her new helper refuses to eat meals at home, even though she had previously claimed she was not picky with food and had no allergies.
Posting in the MDW in Singapore Facebook group on Thursday (Feb 13), the employer explained that the helper assured them she had no food preferences during the interview. However, after moving in last week, she told them she does not like chicken wings, pork belly, or anything oily.
However, when they brought her home last week, the helper told them she didn’t like chicken wings, pork belly, or anything oily. “Thing is, we eat wings almost every week and pork belly every other week. She also said she doesn’t want to eat dinner,” the employer wrote.
Aside from food concerns, the helper also commented on how particular the family is about household chores. The employer explained, “We are very exact about how we want things to be done in a certain order (e.g. for cleaning the house: empty rubbish, pick up floor rugs for washing, sweep floor, mop 2x and rinse mop after every room, etc) and how we need our items kept in the cupboard.”
Beyond household tasks, the helper is also responsible for assisting the employer’s elderly mother with daily activities, including showering.
However, during their first interaction, when the elderly woman reminded the helper what to do, the helper responded by telling her “not to rush her.”
“We’re relatively loud-spoken, but we have not shouted at any of our helpers before,” the employer said.
Feeling unsure how to handle the situation, the employer asked for advice from others. “For employers: would you allow her to skip meals, and would you prepare something else for her if she is picky, and would you allow her to do things her way?” she wrote. “For helpers: is it unreasonable for us to state our expectations on how we want things done, or is it too much? Any other thoughts?”
“Find someone suitable for your family…”
In the comments section, opinions were divided. Some netizens felt the employer should let the helper go, pointing out that she had been dishonest from the start and seemed unwilling to follow the household rules.
One netizen said, “Let her go since she lied from the start. No need to give in. She is here to work and should not be picky about food. No need to go the extra mile to please her at your own expense.”
Another commented, “If she always questions your rules and ways in your house, that’s a red flag. As early as possible, if I were in your place, I would look for a replacement.”
A third recommended, “Try to talk to her again. If she doesn’t want to listen or is not following your house rules, then it’s time to let go of her. Find someone suitable for your family.”
On the other hand, some netizens urged the employer to be more understanding. A few employers shared that their own helpers also had a habit of skipping meals, not necessarily because they disliked the food but due to personal dietary preferences or restrictions.
One shared, “My helper cannot eat pork, so we told her to cook chicken herself. I make sure we have frozen chicken karrage and wings in the fridge so she can DIY. We have eggs, too.”
Another wrote, “My helper also always skipped meals because she said she gained weight after working for me. When grocery shopping, I usually ask her what she wants, as she only cooks for herself and my toddler. Sometimes, I will also buy dinner, but I will ask her if she wants it.”
Meal arrangements for helpers
According to the Ministry of Manpower (MOM), employers must provide their helpers with three meals daily while keeping their food preferences and dietary restrictions in mind.
Helpers should not be pressured to eat foods they are uncomfortable with or prohibited from consuming. For example, some may have religious restrictions on certain meats, while others may not be familiar with specific dishes like vegetarian meals or porridge.
To foster a positive working relationship, employers should openly discuss meal preferences with their helper to find a suitable arrangement for both parties.
Read also: Do you let your maid eat with you?: Singaporeans discuss treatments of domestic helpers
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)