SINGAPORE: Earlier this week, a Reddit user asked for advice after she came across her domestic helper’s TikTok videos and saw the woman had worn her clothes and lain on their beds. The post author’s brother had seen multiple videos of the helper doing this. In one video, the helper even took the employer’s cigarette and pretended to light it.
The post author wrote that previously, her mother had seen their family pictures being shown on the helper’s TikTok account only a few months the woman started working for their family. At that time, however, the mum only told the helper not to use her phone during working hours.
“We’re generally quite lax with our helper,” says the post.
The post author added that while the helper’s schedule is relatively light and her afternoons are free for other chores, the helper “often just sits in the kitchen”.
The family is also dissatisfied that the helper hasn’t learned much about cooking from their mother despite being taught for the past six months. Furthermore, they are unhappy that the helper takes “extremely quick, one-minute showers”.
“We’re unsure how to handle this. We’re hesitant to confront her too firmly—what if she retaliates, especially when watching our nephew?” the post author wrote.
Many commenters on the post said they should replace the helper as soon as possible. They advised the post author to say that the helper is incompatible with their family.
“You’re paying someone for getting tasks done, not hosting a family member,” one Reddit user reminded her.
Another commenter expressed surprise that the family had not yet asked the agency for a replacement helper even though the maid crossed the limits when she wore the employer’s clothes.
“The act of putting on your clothes without your permission and lying on your bed is also a violation of boundaries… Who knows what else she has been doing not on film.”
The commenter also advised the family to ask themselves why they should keep someone in their household who cannot be trusted not to “‘retaliate’ when watching a young child”.
Others underlined that the helper has broken the trust of the employer more than once, which should already be a dealbreaker.
Some pointed out that since the helper’s schedule is relatively light, different members of the household could pitch in with the chores while waiting for a replacement.
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