SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman took to social media to ask for advice on how to “knock some sense” into her boyfriend after he talked about quitting his new job within two weeks.
She shared, “It’s been four years since he graduated university, and his longest job has only lasted a year. It was a senang, admin job at an MNC, but he complained that it was so boring and meaningless that it was seriously affecting his mental health.” Despite this, she supported his decision to leave, hoping to be a supportive partner.
After quitting the MNC job, she shared that he spent nine months job searching, playing video games, and soul searching. Although she advised him to take on part-time work to earn some pocket money, she noted that he thought it was a waste of time, and likely because he thinks it’s beneath him.
Eventually, he secured a position at a small and medium-sized enterprise (SME), although it came with a S$1,000 pay cut, it was in a field he was highly interested in and had been searching for. Excited for him, she hoped this job would be a better fit.
However, just two weeks into this new role, his boyfriend wanted to quit again.
“I was so excited for him… but it only took a grand total of TWO WEEKS for him to start saying that he wants to quit again. This time, the job was too stressful, the quota too high, a lot of OT, etc etc (typical SME stuff),” she shared. “Boring job cannot, fast-paced job also cannot. How to knock some sense into this man?” she added.
The couple, both in their late 20s, began dating when her boyfriend was starting his role at the MNC. He still lives with his parents, which keeps his expenses low. Although her income is currently higher, she mentioned that this doesn’t bother her. Her main issue is his attitude towards his career, which she finds increasingly difficult to support.
In response to her post, many netizens have advised her to reconsider the relationship. One commenter suggested, “If it’s affecting you, don’t enable his behaviour; no need for an ultimatum, just have an open conversation. Ultimately, it depends on whether you’re okay with being with someone like this. If you’re okay with being the provider or waiting it out, then fine. But this may build resentment over time. Otherwise don’t waste your time.”
Others were more blunt, urging her to “dump him” or “cut her losses.” One user remarked, “This kind of guy, you cannot marry. Even if you knock some sense into him, you will become the mother-substitute for this man-child.” Another commenter warned, “Unless he’s a trust fund baby, he will be a financial liability sooner or later. Jobs are not supposed to be fun. Tell him to grow up.”
However, one user offered a different perspective. According to him, there might be underlying issues affecting his job performance. He shared, “My partner, at the time, would also suggest different kinds of jobs to help me figure out what I wanted, because money doesn’t drive me like it does other people. Ask about what kind of job would be ideal for him, even if it’s unreasonable or unattainable.
“Mental health is important and if he hates his job, things will honestly get worse. Before coming to an ultimatum-type conclusion, I’d definitely try to figure out his intentions.”
“I think if ultimately, after all that, if your goals and his are incompatible, then that’s a sign it’s time to reconsider the relationship. In any situation, you are your priority. You don’t want to be weighed down by someone that should lift you up,” he added. /TISG
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