After a man asked how for advice for helping his girlfriend have a better relationship with her parents, many netizens told him to take a step back and not force the issue.
After all, no one really knows what trauma she may have experienced, some commenters added.
The man posted on NUS Whispers on Friday (June 24) that his girlfriend doesn’t have a good relationship with her parents partly because the parents are said to prefer another sibling over her.
The girlfriend has been spending more and more time at the man’s house, and when he encourages her to visit her parents or for the two of them to have meals with her parents, she’s been reluctant.
As for him, he describes his relationship with his own parents as “fairly good.”
“I have always hoped for my girlfriend to mend her relationship with her parents too ever since we have been together and I knew of her strained relationship with her family,” he wrote, adding that this is why he asks her to visit them around once a week.
This would also help him, as “it would also give her parents a better impression of me as I would not be seen as someone who kind of ‘stole’ their daughter from them (considering that she stays over at my place almost everyday).”
“On the rare days that my girlfriend does go home, I feel that she talks to her parents and sibling pretty rudely and I have always reminded her to be more polite when having conversations with them. She is not rude by nature and talks nicely to everyone else, even my parents,” the man added.
This issue between them has caused the girlfriend to get angry at times, and they have had arguments about it.
“My gut tells me that I can’t not do anything seeing her treat her parents in this way… My girlfriend feels that I don’t understand and can never understand her relationship with her parents but I am trying my best to do so,” he wrote.
One netizen told the man not to assume that good relationships with family is “the norm.”
“Don’t force it,” urged another.
“Why are you knowingly pressing her hot button every other day knowing you will get a jerk reaction?,” asked one commenter.
One told him he may be doing more harm than good.
A woman told him that he needs to respect her choices.
“Some relationships are not meant to be mended for VERY VALID REASONS,” another warned him.
A number of netizens told him that he needs to support her mentally and emotionally.
“关你屁事,” another wrote.
/TISG