By: Molly Meek
Attn: Parents Policing Bookstore Morality
cc: Popular Bookstore Singapore
It has come to my attention that a book entitled Bro, Don’t Like That La #2, My Bad Bromance has been taken off the shelves of Popular Bookstore. Although it is a step in the right direction to get rid of immoral books that may pollute the minds of young children while they are running away from the assessment book section of Popular, it remains that Popular is still selling a vast number of undesirable, morally reprehensible books. Below are some examples, and I would urge all who are concerned about preserving the morality of our country to campaign to take such books off the shelves of Popular and other bookstores in Singapore. Ideally, the MDA should be pressured into bowing to our wishes and banning such dirty books completely.
1. Marriage Illustrated with Crappy Pictures
Not much needs to be said. How could Popular sell a book that undermines the sacred institution of marriage with awful pictures?
2. Come Again: Sex Toy Erotica
Now, how could any bookstore renowned for catering to kids’ need for learning material and assessment books sell something so full of filth? How could it advocate unnatural methods of … pleasure? Just look at the blurb on the Popular website:
“In the latest collection from award-winning editor Rachel Kramer Bussel, sex toys bring couples, singles, and strangers to new heights of pleasure. The stories range from two couples who happen to share the same remote controlled device to some very hot rocks, a perfectly icy bed, a Superman dildo, and a day in the life of a very lucky vibrator. This fun collection gives you plenty of ideas for toys youd like to try, and ones you wish someone would invent!”
Can you imagine how the minds of seven-year-old kids, who naturally like toys a lot, would be corrupted by such a book? I say, ban it immediately!
3. Best Gay Erotica: 2015
You mean they have yearly anthologies encouraging illegal sexual activities that are totally unnatural? You mean it’s OK for a family-oriented bookstore to sell such a book? Oh man, just look at the blurb:
“Best Gay Erotica 2015 is filled to the page-turning brim with fantastic tales of fire dancers and TV repairmen, of hunky painters and electricians and magicians, solo sex, duo sex, and sweat-soaked triple onslaughts. Heck, throw in an alien and a priest, and youll [sic] soon see why this anthology is head and shoulders — not to mention certain other body parts — above the rest, and always with the highest literary quality that readers have come to expect from this esteemed and steamy collection.”
Just look at that erotically charged book cover of a hunk with his bulging … muscles! What if little boys look at it and decide that that’s what they want to marry in future?
4. Best Lesbian Erotica: 2015
This one does not even have a blurb. I can only imagine it’s so much worse than the gay one that the people at Popular decided to sweep the dirt under the carpet and munch the carpet together with the dirt lest the book be banned.
5. Hot Alphas
No, no, no. Trust me, I am not what they call homophobic. That’s a derogatory term meant to portray the silent, moral majority as cowards. Look, I’m going to speak up against this book also. The blurb is about 90% unintelligible, but the 10% that intelligible already makes me cringe:
“In Erins Kiss by Lore Leigh, ex-Marine Turk has become Erins sworn protector. The target of her CIA-operative brothers foes, Turk is the only port Erin has to cling to in a storm. He promised her brother long ago never to touch her – but how can he resist a woman who aches to be with him as much as he burns for her? In Mistaken by Laurelin McGee, Jaylene is an independent woman whose feminist values run deep. The last thing she wants is a man telling her what to do. Until she meets her mysterious new neighbour. He makes her realize that you can still be strong and relinquish control…in the bedroom.”
6. The works of this bestselling local writer
I have definitely seen his works on the shelves of physical Popular outlets. Look at the stuff he writes in his novels. Look at what he writes in one pornographic book that Popular sells:
““Come,” the guy reached for my laptop. I recoiled immediately, but he snatched it. I don’t even fucking know him—so what the hell is he doing! He looked like an undergraduate from the nearby university, with a hairstyle of a typical Singaporean student: short and spiky. For him, it was oily, too. With his lean face and bulging chest, he seemed to work out regularly. Oh my gosh, I don’t know why I looked at his chest first before his face. For girls, I’ve always done that to determine whether my breasts are bigger (and fortunately, they’re often bigger). For me, victory lies in the size of the breasts and not the wallet.” (Link: https://goo.gl/A059pI)
7. All the works of this dirty old man
Why on earth is Popular selling his love poems which, based on my research, are written to some young man? Why is Popular selling his stories about some guy who marries an underaged girl without her parents’ consent and doing forbidden acts with her, presumably in a small space? Why?
Yes, it’s good that the bad bromance (how incestuously gay!) book has been taken off the shelves. But we must continue with our efforts to eliminate all books that corrupt the minds of kids and adults alike!
So please make as much noise as you can about the availability of these books so that the bookstore will have no choice but to pull them from the shelves. I’m sure the titles I’ve shared here are just a drop in the ocean, so do continue to browse through books to make sure that no objectionable content is present.
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Just in case you didn’t get it – this is satire – and was first published in Molly Meek’s Facebook.